Akon performs in Sunrise, Florida, on April 27.
Photo: Getty Images
First off: WUT? Secondly: Tee hee! Akon is nakie! Well, almost. While on tour with Usher, the R&B singer decided to strip down mid-performance, and you know what? We're not even mad about it. Crazy things MUST happen when you're performing in a town called Sunrise, Florida (is this real life?). It's probably, like, the most humid place on Earth, and he's wearing SO MANY LAYERS while simultaneously trying to dance and sing, so who wouldn't want to immediately start disrobing at that point? Leather jacket + forehead sweat beads = problem. He managed to take off a whole slew of stark white garments, including a studded leather motorcycle jacket, V-neck tee, white belt, skinny jeans (with stitched-in knee pads?!), and even his sneakers. But, more important, can we discuss his post striptease bod? Um, HAIIII. It's all shiny and glisten-y, and WOW his legs are definitely crazy-oiled-up status. We love that his nudie ensemble matches (*applause*) and kept his diamond-flooded accessories on for a little extra flair. There's only one tiny, itty, bitty thing we would change about this almost-perfect situation.
Listen, Akon. You are on stage showing off your chiseled bod. You probably spent a BAJILLION hours at the gym sculpting those perfect pecs. You probably sadface-turned down a cupcake at the last birthday party you attended. You might've passed on that extra beer when you were out with the boys all for this SHINING GLORIOUS MOMENT WHEN YOU ARE NAKED ON STAGE IN FRONT OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITH EVERY CAMERA IN SIGHT DOCUMENTING IT, AND THEN YOU DON'T TAKE YOUR SOCKS OFF?!!! I mean, OK, we KIND OF get it. It's probably gross to go barefoot on a stage and MAYBE you're a germaphobe or something, but those inviso ankle socks are really killing the vibe for us. Luckily, we've got ALL THE REST OF YOU to gander at, so we're not complaining too much, but just keep it in mind for next time. Kay, A.K.?