Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel shrug off the jean suit comparisons at the "Runner Runner" premiere.
Photo: Getty Images
Gather round, Fashion Fanfic readers. It's time for another installment of made-up celebrity conversations. Last night, Justin Timberlake and his lovely wife, Jessica Biel, showed up to the premiere of Justin’s new movie, Runner Runner, wearing basically the same thing. The handsome couple both hit the red carpet in verrry similar tuxedo suits. Here, we imagine what getting ready in the Timberlake-Biel household might have been like that night.
Justin anxiously tapped his pointed patent dress shoe on the bespoke, marble-glazed floor and let out a hefty sight. "JESS! Girl, come ON. We only got four minutes to save the wor— before we have to leave for my premieeeereyyeah!" he yelled with a slight staccato. For a moment, he thought about texting his co-star, Ben Affleck, to tell him they were running late, but he quickly remembered that Jennifer never lets him take his cellphone to events in an effort to help him "be more present."
"COMING!" Jessica hollered back. "Have you seen my black, gold-trimmed mini-briefcase purse? I can't find it anywhere!"
"The one that looks like a lunchbox? It’s down here by the door!" Justin opened the tiny bag and dabbed a few dots of his wife’s avocado under-eye cream beneath his baby blues. He snapped the purse shut and glanced back up toward the stairs, where Jessica had hurriedly appeared. "Oh. Oh no. Well, this is embarrassing," he stammered as she slowly shimmied across their marble, gold-flecked staircase.
"TWINSIES!" she exclaimed before gliding down the banister into their cavernous foyer, top-hat and cane in-hand. "LOL, I can’t believe we’re wearing the same thing! SO WEIRD!"
Justin winced as he recalled the last time he and his significant other wore matching outfits on a red carpet. "Ca-ca-ca-Canadian tuxedo," he whispered to himself, shuddering. "You have to change," he insisted. "I don't care if we're late anymore. Suits and ties are my thing now. You know this."
"But baby! You're not even wearing a tie!" she pleaded. "Besides, I accessorized my suit. See?” She batted her long-eyelashes fervently and shrugged her shoulders, offering up the hat and cane. "You wanna carry the cane?" she asked excitedly. "OMG YES, carry the cane!"
Justin took a deep breath. "Jessica," he started calmly. "This is my premiere. Ben Affleck is going to be there. BEN AFFLECK!" The sharp raise in his voice surprised them both. "Sorry. Look, you are beautiful and wonderful and that is a seriously great neutral shade of lipstick you're wearing right now, but I would really appreciate if you would go put on one of your sheer chiffon numbers for this thing."
"But baby, it's DOLCE and I just got it," she said with a dramatic turn down of her lightly-glossed lips. "And I mean, it's got these cute ruffles at the sleeves and it's double-breasted and..."
Outside on their cobblestone driveway, their chauffeur politely honked the horn.
"FINE," Justin huffed. "You're right. The ruffles are adorable and so are you."
Jessica squealed with delight and ran toward their ride. She always gets her way.
Justin yelled after her with one final request: "Just... Leave the accessories in the car though, K?”