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French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy at the G8 Summit in Deauville, France, on May 26, 2011, Alexa Chung at the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition in London on June 9, 2010, and U.S. first lady Michelle Obama at the White House in Washington, D.C. on Sept. 18, 2009.
Photo: Getty Images

Not that anyone's ever accused me to my face of being a "lady" or "elegant" but there's something about the return of this particular shoe trend that simply irritates me. Some chicks have beef with bows. Or polka dots. Or hearts. Or Peter Pan collars. They find them "too girly" or cloying and it's definitely how I'd qualify the inconsequential nubbin of a heel known as the kitten heel. Plus, and this might be just me but there's something strangely low rent about a kitten heel. A sort of "fancydrag." Like something that scrabbles with awkward elbows and scabby knees to a higher station because they read many times (by match light) in the only picture book they owned (known to you and I as a magazine) when they lived in subway tunnels, that this shoe was somehow "special."

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Continuum N12 Bikini.
Photo: Courtesy of Continuum/Ariel Efron

I love science. I am a sucker for smartypantses and people who just seem like smartypantses because they're polysyllabic and confusing and wear glasses and small trousers. But sometimes an errant poindexter starts chipping away at a problem that just isn't a problem and bad stuff like this 3-D bikini happens. I know. I didn't get it either, but upon watching the video and reading the literature, basically you send your sizes to a company called Continuum Fashion and they PRINT a bikini for you out of these wee little, flexible nylon 12 (aka polyamide) discs that join at angles that allow for topography that fit EXACTLY to the curvature of your body and is "surprisingly comfortable." What? Yeah, no.

I mean, look at this thing. I realize that it's COOL and RAD that you can make this nonfabric behave like fabric but kinda who cares when there's this thing called FABRIC. AMIRITE? Stay in your lane scientists...
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Clutches, rings, and cuffs ruled the night and the multiple metallic surfaces sent our magpie-like covetous brains spinning. And scheming. From cunning little hard-case purses to mercury-shiny asymmetrical cuffs to bracelets that appeared to be made from boiled and spun sugar, there wasn't an accessory that we didn't mentally audition with our wardrobe at home. Let's take a closer look and really allow the envy to take hold and darken our hearts before dropping serious paper on some of these choice, outfit-making accent pieces.

NICKI MINAJ

Nicki Minaj at the 2011 MTV Movie Awards in Universal City, California on June 5, 2011.
Photo: Getty Images

While we personally would've loved a simple tank paired with Nicki's amazing, ultra-'80s, black-and-gold-hardware ensemble, we're uncompromised in our love and admiration of all that gleaming metal. From the bright buckles of her waistcoat to the enormous gauntlet of bracelets, we loved the deep, inverted, dramatic V of her gold 4.3.2.1 Necklace by TomTom Jewelry that's held aloft seemingly by her impressive décolletage and set off by the badassery of her matching gold Crystal Chunk Knucklebuster Ring by Luv AJ.

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Photo: John Shearer/WireImage.com

We're mere hours away from the 2011 Movie Awards and rehearsals are in full swing prepping for the Big Night. We were lucky enough to throw our meager elbows into the mix to grab some face time with Trey Songz, who will be performing with Lupe Fiasco and performing their joint collab "Out of My Head" for the first time together on television, and um, yeah, he's totally a bona fide Hot Dude. Like, for sure. While he wouldn't dish on exactly what ensemble he'll wear tomorrow night (he and his stylist Talia have pulled several plausible dapper looks), he does assure us he'll be showing off his best with a likely outfit change between the show and the performance, with maybe an added look thrown in expressly for the red carpet. Hardly a shocker knowing what flair Trigga typically brings. Seeeeeriously.

+ TREY SONGZ ON HIS PERSONAL STYLE:

+ To find out what outfit Trey Songz is dipped in, tune in HERE for our MTV Movie Awards live blog (starting at 6:30 p.m. ET) as we scour the red carpet for all the stuntastic style.

2011 MTV MOVIE AWARDS COVERAGE:
Christian Siriano To Host MTV.com's Red Carpet Report
OMG! Sneak Peek At 'Breaking Dawn' Wedding Fashion
MTV Generation Award Winner Reese Witherspoon's Iconic Fashion Moments
A Fashion Homage To 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse'
A Fashion Homage To 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part1'
A Fashion Homage To 'Black Swan'
A Fashion Homage To 'Easy A'
Memorable Style Moments Of The Best Male Performance Nominees
Memorable Style Moments Of The Best Female Performance nominees

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Bleulab Reversible Coated Curve Legging in Azurite Cayman Blue.
Photo: Courtesy of Singer22

Leaping lizards, ladies. Is it just me or are you kind of mad that this hasn't existed before? Ahahahahaha. What INGRATES we all are if that's the case! JKJKJKJK, we're the best. Get on in here for a hug. But seriously, of all the technological innovations that have improved our quality of life (and dwindled our capacity for empathy and patience for real human interaction) isn't it sort of shocking that we've only JUST been blessed with these reversible jeans? Courtesy of Bleulab, a denim studio based out of L.A., and featuring a number of fits and washes, these twofer slacks go for about $163-$207 at Singer22.com. Plus, they make 'em in JORTS!

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I know the obvious thing to discuss is how U.K. online clothier ASOS has an entire magazine that looks smashing and is satisfying since you know ALL the fash credits for everything already (artists' own notwithstanding of course) or how cover girl Zoe Kravitz has just lopped her hair off into a positively DARLING bob, but I'd like to open with something else:

I just saw X-Men: First Class last night, and it was SO AMAZING I CAN'T EVEN DEAL.

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Taylor Kitsch at the U.S. premiere of 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine' in Tempe, Arizona, on April 27, 2009, Tom Brady at the 'Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty' Costume Institute Gala in New York City on May 2, 2011, and Ashton Kutcher at the Coalition to Abolish Slavery & Trafficking's 13th Annual Gala in Los Angeles on May 12, 2011.
Photo: Getty Images

Um. So, this. I know that the title of this post is a little dicey with it seeming like there's tendrils getting all mixed up and tangled in ladyjunk but seriously, what's with guys having long hair and suddenly becoming UNIMPEACHABLE GODS? It's frankly a little gross how responsive I, and other ladies like myself, get when guys get all tonsorially loose and freeeeee and flowing because I think what's primarily attractive about it is that they sort of look like jerks. There's something distinctly unemployed yet preening about the setup that makes them look suspiciously capable of murder and monster-scale embezzling or worse still, reminiscent of skater dudes from my youth. Ugh. Sooooo handsome... to where it fills me with self-loathing.

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Jem and the Holograms.
Photo: Courtesy of Hasbro/Marvel Productions

Wowowowowowowowoowowwowow I love Jem SO HARD. I love being, all, "Showtime Synergy!" and acting like I'm harnessing the projection power of my earrings to create an all-girl holographic pop/rock band. It's so awesome. Oooooooor trulytrulytruly outrageous, AMIRITE???? Only thing is, other than remembering that Jem had ridic long legs and the best outfits and flyest makeup (even though it was for her Second Life avatar of a frontwoman more than in IRL) I kiiiiiinda don't remember anything about the show at all which is why it's so helpful that they're on the air again with a repeat of the FIRST EPISODE tonight on Hub. Like, par example of crap I forgot: um, did you know her father dies and leaves her a record company AND a foster home that she has to financially support? Weird. Thanks, dad.

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Arrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. *pant pant* Hammitt for True Blood Alcide Handbag.
Photo: Courtesy of Racked

Sooooooo. Yeah, this happened. Weird thing is, even between the Rottweiler Givenchy T-shirt that Kanye and Liv Tyler both wore, the menacing cat one-piece swimsuit that Rihanna wore a majillion billion years ago, and the Christopher Kane gorillas, I'm not even of the camp that the rabid animal face motif is tired. I kinda like it as the logical next step from irono-wearing those black tees with the wolf pack and the dream catchers because that mess was hilarious and bizarre.

The thing that actually does totally confuse me other than the $500 bones (RAAHAHAHAHARHARAHARSNOOORT. WHAT? I am TOO a lady. Sheesh.) you'll have to drop on this novelty item, is that they totally did this wrong.

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Tyra Banks and André Leon Talley.
Photo: Courtesy of typeF

Tyra Banks and André Leon Talley have teamed up to make a series of 'Fa-Fa-Fa-Fashion' vids for Tyra's new fashion website/community typeF. The duo picks a topic that real people can relate to like skinny jeans or little black dresses or trench coats or whatever (you know Tyra, she likes to keep it real) and runs absolutely bananaswild with it for five minutes. ALT stations himself in a metal chair and really grounds the whole endeavor with a wealth of historical context (in this one he talks about the Victorian bustline and the Edwardian uni-boob), and Tyra sits on his lap, hamming it up to his every word.

In this installment about "Shapewear" (basically corsets and spanx and prosthesis-looking binding crap that goes from your knees all the way up to your boobs) there is a point where Ms. T is wearing nothing but flesh-colored (like, anglo "flesh-colored") support underwear and walking around like a mummy to indicate how binding all of it is. Obviously the best and only way to illustrate this point...

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Featured Comment

I love these two as a couple. What a festive way to celebrate two important events in their life. Mariah looks like a dream.

Posted by Journey on Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Shut Down Disneyland To Renew Vows In Cinderella-Themed Ensembles
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