Prom is a big deal, and it can go a number of ways: It can be the best night of your life, an evening rife with blissful memories that becomes your happy place later when you're having teeth removed, or when you've locked yourself out of your extortionately priced studio apartment at 4 am clad only in your underpants and needing to wake up for work in two hours. Or, prom sucked. You got pressured into asking a dude you didn't like that much or maybe a rando asked you and you went and it was a bust because you ditched each other and it was 100% DRAMA at the after-party.

Oooooor you rolled DEEP with your crew and had a BLAST and you wished in your heart that it would never end, but you acknowledged with wisdom beyond your years that this kind of magic can't be sustained. Now you talk to like two of the 12 OG BFFs over Facebook, and that's it. The point is, prom is loaded, heady and awesome and vital to a bunch of CUHLASSIC movies that make us swoon time and time again with the boys and the dancing and the budding of young love. To kick off our week of prom coverage, we present The 12 Most Memorable Movie Prom Dresses, to relive the fancy-pants fashion magic that we can witness from the safe distance of our screens.

#12 - NEVER BEEN KISSED (1999)

Photo: Courtesy of Fox 2000 Pictures

The Role: Drew Barrymore as Josie Geller
Costume Designer: Mona May
The Dress: Awwww. Never Been Kissed ruled. Basically, Drew goes back to school and gets a major do-over of the more critical high school experiences, and, of course, prom is a big one. Michael Vartan is a ridic dishy teacher who blablablbla NOSPOILERs and looks banging in a tux and while Drew's concertina-pleated, bell-sleeved, lace overlaid situation is a little "ornate," it's a huge improvement from her original silver lamé, poufy sleeved, French maid's costume she wore in her teens.

#11 - PRETTY IN PINK (1986)

Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures

The Role: Molly Ringwald as Andie Walsh
Costume Designer: Marilyn Vance
The Dress: I'm not going to attempt a synopsis of this because if you haven't seen Pretty In Pink, you simply have to. Immediately. And you can, because it's in reruns with a diligence you could set your watch to. Andie, our thrifty protagonist and a talented seamstress—mashes up a preexisting dress that her older BFF Iona (who is an incredible fashion plate, real talk) wore to her prom and a dress that her depressing, broken father buys her from a thrift store—into a pink, polka dotted, cut-away, leg-o-mutton, 3/4 length sleeve gown that wows her friends and Andrew McCarthy (a handsome rich dude who everyone thought was "out of her league"). Admittedly, when you pull away far enough to gain a little perspective, the dress is actually a little fug. But it's unconventional and original, and the can-do attitude is great. This movie is in my own personal top 10, so just let your ocular muscles go a little lax and blurry on it and you'll be fine.

#10 - PROM (2011)

Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures

The Role: Aimee Teegarden as Nova Prescott
Costume Designer: Shoshana Rubin
The Dress: Prom is still in theaters at the time of publishing SO I'm not going to give too many plot points away, but Nova tries to orchestrate a PERFECT prom and this beautiful, delicate, satin-piped, sleeveless champagne dress with a gathered bodice and gilt floral lace is definitely the first step to a magical, magical night. Peep the way we can barely even see her friends or the rest of the bedroom in the background? That's how you know you love a dress. Or hate your friends. JKJKJKJK, go see the movie.

#9 - NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (2004)

Photo: Courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures

The Role: Tina Majorino as Deb
Costume Designer: Jerusha Hess
The Dress: Pluck out a single feature of Deb's dress from Napoleon Dynamite and it could be construed as categorically heinous, but in concert, this would actually be the best hipster irono-fug prom dress ever. First of all, it's firmly retro in full '80s glory. Second of all, the tiered layers are very on-trend for spring. The low-cut square back is flattering for several body types, and the hue is a cloying pink that would look fierce with a black suede platform, T-strap pump.

#8 - HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR (2008)

Photo: Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures

The Role: Monique Coleman as Taylor McKessie and Vanessa Hudgens as Gabriella Montez
Costume Designer: Caroline B. Marx
The Dresses: Taylor's dress from High School Musical 3 skews costumey, but the fit and the thoroughness of the accessories anchor the look. Girl goes for it with layer upon layer of dotted Swiss royal purple tulle and Vee Hudge as Gabriella does diaphanous like a goddess with an empire-waisted, strappy floral dress with a sash in a flirty cocktail length that moves as beautifully as she does. Also, HAAAAY Zac Efron, ssup.

#7 - 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (1999)


Photo: Courtesy of Touchstone Pictures


The Role: Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford
Costume Designer: Kimberly A. Tillman
The Dress: A single strand of pearls, a simple almost severe updo, a chiffon shawl, a spaghetti-strapped column, bias-cut dress that looks fantastic as a silhouette and does nothing for your boobs... aka THE quintessential prom look in the late-'90s, early-aughts. The deep, deliciously, jewel-like purple against Kat's milky-white skin and the fact that this was the first REAL, sustained length of time that her character wasn't being an utter a-hole to Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You, makes this one of the most romantically intense prom scenes ever. You could cut the tension with a knife.

#6 - TWILIGHT (2008)


Photo: Courtesy of Summit Entertainment


The Role: Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan
Costume Designer: Wendy Chuck
The Dress: Oh man, I love that after almost getting killed a whole bunch, Bella and Edward from Twilight still get to go to prom. Bella's gorgeous royal blue, tiered, ruched, deep-V, midi-length dress complements her Converse and her leg cast, and the cream of her soft, vintage, embroidered cashmere cardigan with the satin trimmed contoured edges softens the bold hue. Edward is also nothing to sneeze at. In fact, he is something to cling at. While sobbing. And begging him to bite your neck even if in IRL he's just some shy, pale British dude.

#5 - JAWBREAKER (1999)


Photo: Courtesy of Crossroads Films


The Role: Rose McGowan as Courtney Shayne
Costume Designer: Vickie Brinkford
The Dress: Dudes. Rose McGowan's body. Okay, I know in Jawbreaker Courtney's the baddie and we should all wish her demise but honestly, check this out. This is a structural anomaly and a bit of fashion soothsaying that is wholly impressive. First of all, it's more a teeny, tiny, sleeveless body-con minidress than a whole frock. Using the white underpinning as the backbone, the other, clingy, silky, see-through pieces are simply draped along the bustline and secured beneath the silver trim and flowed to the floor as an A-line. Granted, the true foundation is that McGowan's torso and legs are of a shapely tautness that is rarely found in nature but, the reason why this dress is a sartorial anachronism is that THIS is basically an illusion maxi skirt that is presently on all the fash blogs more than a decade later.

#4 - BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1992)


Photo: Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation


The Role: Kristy Swanson as Buffy
Costume Designer: Marie France
The Dress: How funky is your chicken? And more critically, how lose is your goose? As much as I love the Joss Whedon TV Buffy run, there's something about the zaniness of the Swanson-helmed feature-length Buffy The Vampire Slayer original that make this prom ensemble so memorable. The fact that this ass-kicking, stake-driving badass goes to prom in a Grace-Kelly-on-her-wedding-day perfect blonde upsweep is notable, and the fact that her "glandular assets" are so ample in a halter-neck, dotted Swiss, crinoline-shaped version of a Marilyn Monroe dress (totally almost typed Manson which would've been a different dress entirely) reminds us that Buffy, even bloodied and filthy from fighting bloodsuckers, is a total hottie.

#3 - JENNIFER'S BODY (2009)

Photo: Courtesy of Dune Entertainment

The Role: Megan Fox as Jennifer Check
Costume Designer: Katia Stano
The Dress: So Megan Fox may be divisive as far as people either loving her or hating her, but the glory of her very Gothic Lolita, floor-length, almost Edwardian-looking Jessica McClintock dress with the contrasting black lace bands and the looooooong satin gloves in Jennifer's Body cannot be denied. I mean, look at this, here is a dress that IMPROVES as the night wears on. It looks better totally run-through and sodden and, of course, floating several feet above any surface. The gathers along the bodice and the interplay of the eery track lights on the transparent layers really works for us. As does the fact that she kept the jewelry and hair sleek and simple and murderer-y.

#2 - CARRIE (1976)


Photo: Courtesy of Redbank Films


The Role: Sissy Spacek as Carrie White
Costume Designer: Rosanna Norton
The Dress: Carrie is a prom movie classic, and while the likelihood of you being doused in bucketfuls of pig's blood and retaliating by locking the gym doors and setting the entire roomful of sociopathic and morally depraved students on fire with your mind is only at about 7-19% on any given prom weekend, you can't say that Carrie didn't look positively radiant in her pink sheath on The Big Night. The silky satin. The delicately gathered seams that support Carrie's dirty pillows. The matching shawl. The entire aesthetic is well thought out and beautifully executed and soooooorta reminds me of a retro version of the pink Gwyneth Paltrow Ralph Lauren dress that she won her Oscar in (in a way that had me Pavlovian conditioned to think something baaaad was going to happen at the Academy Awards), but maybe that's just me.

#1 - ROMY AND MICHELE'S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION (1997)

Photo: Courtesy of Touchstone Pictures


The Role: Lisa Kudrow as Michele Weinberger and Mira Sorvino as Romy White
Costume Designer: Mona May
The Dresses: Romy and Michele's High School Reunion has the best version of prom you could ever, ever hope for. You roll with your equally cool and rad bestie and you wear complementary, black, Madonna outfits with "Like A Virgin" and "Blonde Ambition Tour" hair, respectively. You layer as many rosaries as you would eye shadow colors, and you Go. To. Town. You both sew in big, padded bras into your various thrifted pieces with clumsy "it'll hold for the night" stitches, you dance and "Vogue" like maniacs, you laugh your faces off about EVERYTHING, don't care a whit about what anybody else is doing and when it's all done you have ZERO regrets, tatters of this weird and beautiful disintegrating dress, French fries in your underwire and a grip of photos that will remind you that there once was a time when you and your bestest ladyfriend thought you were invincible and untouchable and maybe you totally were and you looked completely cramazing doing it.

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Neurowear's Cat Ears that detect brainwaves.
Photo: Courtesy of Neurowear

Today in decidedly repulsive but undeniably cool news, a Japanese company by the chillingly dystopian name of "Neurowear," has created the Furry expo/Cosplay enthusiast's dream by creating a pair of fuzzy ears that MOVE BY DETECTING YOUR BRAINWAVES. Now, having been an enormous Comic-Convention-attending nerdball for many, many years, clothing or hats that feature paws or ears or tiny woodland creature faces are nothing new and this past winter, even the fashion-conscious streets of New York were lousy with ear-adorned accoutrement as a general trend. This, however, IS SOME NEXT LEVEL ISH.

Called, the "Necomimi" as in, "cat" + "ear" in Japanese, these feline features are mounted onto a thick, satin, very Blair Waldorf season 1 headband and stand up ramrod straight when you're concentrating (in the instructional video, very much like in my own life, the occasion that calls for such deep thinking is when eating a chocolate-glazed donut), and lay flat against your head when you're relaxed.

Now, here's a sociopathic hang-up that reveals way too much about myself, why the hell would you want a "tell"? Life is not unlike like a high-stakes poker game, and there are far too many instances when it is beneficial for people NOT to know EXACTLY what you're thinking. If a girlfriend asks for your opinion on a fuchsia dress made entirely of duchess satin flowers that you personally think is #vomit, but you know for a fact that a) your bestie LUHs it b) it cost a majillion dollars and c) is not returnable, you wouldn't want to be caught out there "concentrating" when she asks you if you like it.

If your ears stick up, you've essentially dry-snitched on yourself and to what gain? Although if you were wearing these ears in the first place on every occasion, like chez BFF, the conversation would probably go like this:

Friend: "What do you think of this dress?" *flounces in pepto-monstrosity*
You: "........." *ears stick up*
Friend: "Thanks a lot, JERK."
You: "........." *ears still sticking up, maybe even higher if that's possible*
Friend: "WELL WHATEVER, WHY AM I TAKING THE STYLE ADVICE OF SOME ASSHAT WHO DRESSES LIKE A FRIGGIN' FURBIE GAWWWWWD???!!!"

Point friend.

P.S.: I am maybe totally getting these, as they only sorta scare me about cancer and are actually rad in a keepsake way.

WATCH THE NEUROWEAR CAT EAR VIDEO BELOW!!!

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A model wearing the pink leopard temporary lip tattoo.
Photo: Courtesy of Violent Lips

Wowowowowoowowowow. There's just something SO Lisa Frank insane and Jem and the Holograms maniacal and trulytrulytruly outrageous about these lip tattoos. As you can see from the aforementioned cultural references, I am 1 million years old, and while I can certainly appreciate the appeal of Violent Lips temporary lip tattoos, I'm not sure that I would be equipped with the chutzpah to make it twerk. My friend Kerin does this thing where she applies (and this is genius) lipstick, a thin coat of very, very fine glitter, and a top coat of, get this, LASH GLUE to achieve to the glitter iterations of VIOLENT lips but this? The animal print?

IDK. Only because here's the thing. I can't mess with any of this because I lack fine motor skills from sitting hunched at a desk typing for hours while the sun rises and sets behind me not that I notice at all because I can't even see natural light anymore so I can't DO things like fake lashes, intricate nail designs or mess around with sticky things that need an instructional video and a "wet sponge" and the repeated utterance of "aaaaaah" while you apply and peel wee bits of plastic-backed paper. I am one of those people who, if I didn't have WAY BETTER than 20/20 vision (mwahahaha), I would have to wear glasses because contacts would be a mess and the sink under my medicine cabinet would pool with eyeblood and many, many tears. Tears that would sting.

In short (hahhahha, yeah right) I SUPPORT that there's something vaguely predatory and menacing about calling attention to the GIANTNESS of one's mouth and it looking sort of man-repellantish with how NEON and obtrusive it all is (ask ANY dude, if they're not total hipsters they prefer pale/glossy/nude/pinkblablablablbala for lips). But for me personally? Way too fussy. Now you. Y or N? Bet Ke$ha would LUR this.

+ WATCH HOW TO APPLY THE LIP TATTOOS BELOW!!!

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Kristin Cavallari at the 'Something Borrowed' premiere in Hollywood on May 3.
Photo: Getty Images

Kristen Cavallari was seen last night at the premiere for Something Borrowed starring Ginnifer Goodwin, Kate Hudson, John Krasinski and Colin Egglesfield. It's a lovely little flick about pre-wedding dramz, but it's not likely that K. Cav's even a bit distracted by such poppycock as "jitters" given her impending nuptials to Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler is still providing her with a despicable amount of profound joy. I mean, look at her. When's the last time you saw her look this insanely GLOWING and euphoric? She appears to be emitting light from every pore on her person, every strand of glistening hair, and the white, strapless, embroidered sundress just evokes flashes of the morning-after-celebratory-friends-and-family-brunch after the Big Day. Even her tidily short and pristine manicure looks positively matrimonial. She's also wearing her sandal wedges she designed for charity, sold at ShoeDazzle which complement the summery aesthetic gloriously. In short, she looks great, and every aspect of her outfit works splendidly.

Aaaaaaaaaand, well, of course it does, given that she is also wearing a DELICIOUSLY MASSIVE, four-prong, FLAWLESS ASSCHER-CUT, hella faceted, three-or-so carat *brings out her jeweler's loupe* engagement ring replete with about 1.5-and-change carat accent diamonds on the band (what? I know my rocks. It's totally acceptable to be an unmarried woman of a certain age who is well-versed in precious jewels). Basically, she could be wearing a puce-colored, XXXXL zip-up fleece hoodie with a 3-foot-tall Insane Clown Posse face drawn in puffy paint on it with 12-year-old Wellington boots made expressly for longshoremen and look dazzling. Provided we could see her shine. Congrats, girl. Blind your enemies by harnessing the sun's rays, your own happy-girl phosphorescence and that rock. Make yourself a laser and vanquish your foes. GET IT.

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André Leon Talley at the Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York on May 2.
Photo: Getty Images

Oh honey. So... I'm sure we all stalked the #MetGala red carpet like the diligent style hawks we are, and while we all had divergent opinions on the assorted sculptural frocks and occasionally overshot silhouettes, we all seemed to agree that we did not understand André Leon Talley's decision-making that night. After all, most of the photographs of him revealing his sous-vêtements (in this case a gorgeous dark blue, shawl-collar Ralph Lauren suit) to the hordes of paps made it look like he was an enormous loin-flashing fowl. The sort that reveals itself before taking flight. It was all, dare we say, very "last shadow" (that wicked scary alien dino-bird) from James Cameron's Avatar.

And while I love Vogue Daily legitimately (and not just to be political and to "soften" the "blow" of any fork-tongued acid words I may have on the topic [because, let's face it, they're Vogue and hardly losing sleep on anything I vomit and smear around in circles here]) I think it's weird that of the throngs of feathers, paillets, impossibly minuscule stitches, hunger pangs, man-hours, and naked BRILLIANCE on display, ALT chose to put a number of eyebrow-altitude-increasing selections on his "Ten Best Dressed (Plus Two)"—namely himself. Granted, at 12th place:

"12. ALT in Balenciaga: Nicolas Ghesquière designed my 80-meter-long French silk faille manteau de cour in LeCorbusier blue, which I wore over my favorite midnight-blue Ralph Lauren dinner suit with shawl collar, Charvet shirt, and bowtie, and Roger Vivier court shoes in framboise. Yours truly decided I was a top note—and why not?!"

OK, I'm definitely going to start referring to anything in the bruised-red-fruit color family as "framboise" 'cause that's awesome, but there just seem to be too many "artfully-canny-'crony'-ish" selections (a suspicious ratio of designers in their own designs) on this list already without the inclusion of himself. And excuse us, lest we seem pedantic but I'm fairly certain a "manteau de cour" (or a court train) shouldn't be cut in too voluminous a silhouette especially in a closely woven faille with silk threads twisted to this sheen because the drape will be compromised and reflect camera flash like so much gym bag nylon.

Giselle was a vision, granted, but no mention of Christina Ricci? Or Rihanna? Stella McCartney I will definitely grant you (because she is and looks amazing in a complicated and clever dress that, really does feature so much deeply pleasing architectural elements in the bustline that's flipped-yet-mirrored in the color and "lip" of the train), I'm struck... "curious" overall by this list. What do y'all think? And, yes, "I don't give a flying turd nugget" is a credible answer, too. FREE SPEECH, PEOPLE. That's all we live for here at MTV Style. Don't "end" us Vogue kthxbai.

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Shoe Boots from Prada's Fall 2011 ready-To-Wear Collection.
Photo: Courtesy of Style.com/Net-a-Porter

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath* BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. ZOMG *wipes eyes* You guys. Is this happening? Did I dream this so I could have theeee perfect post for this morning's "Let's Discuss"? I mean, this is brilliant, right? Did some saboteur slip on Miuccia's whole body skin and wig to gallop into her work area to scrawl what they thought to be the FUNNIEST most FUGLIEST also, let's face it, RACISTIEST shoe ever on the magical notebook dedicated to FINAL PRODUCTION IDEAS? (Right? That's how shoe-boots get born? They're drawn in crayon on the gilded Moleskine that gets sent to the cobbler factory straightaway to be faithfully executed without any checks or balances, just a line drawing?)

So much going on here. First of all, the Mary Jane itself? GAHROSS. The dead-leg sheen that's uniform on both the shoe and the shin is so freaky. The stout, leather-covered heel. The cartoon button. The entire thing that looks like a prosthesis and like it would be cold to the touch. The weird elasticky seam in the front. The pull-on stretchy zigzag seam on the top. What is happening? Prada is a clever woman, and I can't help but think this is a publicity stunt of some sort. Or some meme-baitish trope. Whoa. I just kinda blew my mind. Remember the story about The Red Shoes. Where the chick somethingsomethingSHOES and couldn't stop dancing, and then the woodcutter had to CUT OFF HER LEGS so that the demonic heels that had possessed her feet would finally let her rest? Maybe these shoes are a metaphor for temptation and vanity and being careful what you wish for and... and... Man, I have no idea. I'm just thoroughly entertained because these bishes are disgusting. You can see the rest of the collection here, but for sure these "flesh" (a way-more-subjective term than these presume) colored ones are my disgustofaves. SOOOO GOOOD.

P.S. Oh, and (nerd alert but) everybody reeeeeelax if they want to talk surrealism and invoke Schiaparelli. This ain't that.

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Adam Lambert at the 28th-annual ASCAP Pop Music Awards in Hollywood on April 27, 2011.
Photo: Getty Images

We can all agree that this is amazing, yes? I mean, granted it's a STRONG look and rather jarring in that there is no where in the room/world where Adam Lambert's eyes aren't following you but as two-colored giant pompadours go, this is kind of a perfect one. Upon a cursory glance he looks like an enormous surprised cockatoo that has perhaps gone to the Dark Side, but when you truly study this image—given that there's no way to tear your eyes away once you're locked in the magical tractor beam of Lambert's version of Blue Steel—you realize that this dude comes in peace. And will not attempt to tie you to a railroad track despite you wearing a white eyelet tiered dress and matching bonnet that would look SO AMAZING tied to a railroad track. Like, it would make the cover of the lookbook for sure.

And while there are at least 12 to 33 jokes that could be made about the fact that it looks like Adam chose a stencil from some vast collection to spray paint on a perfectly symmetrical down-curved 'stache and Dorito chin patch (careful not to get it in his eyes), each individual face follicle actually appears to have been MASCARA'D instead. That, my friends, is devotion, pain, and care and should be noted and admired. Plus, just LOOK at the exacting arch of his brows and the truly masterful eye makeup. The reason this whole *360-degree around the world snap* situation is so mesmerizing has everything to do with the fact that his eye shadow and lashes work in concert to draw your attention to the GORGEOUS gray-blue hue of his eyeballs. This is not amateur status and not to be attempted at home. Or can be attempted at home. But, to where you don't go out and just stay there. Preening.

***BREAKING UPDATE: According to the artist's Twitter page, it seems HE HAS SHAVED! No news as to what exactly this means for his manscaped face-coif but we await reliable photographic evidence that he remains as categorically awesome-looking as he did when the above was taken.

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Ke$ha at the 28th-annual ASCAP Pop Music Awards in Hollywood on April 28.
Photo: Getty Images

Ke$ha is frequently lambasted for her sartorial/tonsorial/makeup-ial decision-making, but mostly we appreciate the free-spiritedness in her videos/performance outfits/red carpet appearances because at least girl gives good interesting. Always. So... her hard-core cat's eye. I mean, on one hand, kudos for mastering the swoosh. While I'm not totally convinced this counts as "fine motor skills," considering it's not writing the Pledge of Allegiance in pig Latin on a single grain of rice (it's WAY longer in pig Latin; and of course we're talking Carolina rice since it was BORN here [we're not infidels]) to be strung on a necklace and sold on eBay for the reasonable "Buy It Now" price of nothing because it's a piece of gimmicky garbage but liquid liner is tough. That it extends beyond where her eyebrow ends is the real nut, though. I believe since the human head is undulating terrain and features are rarely symmetrical, going past the brow is where you run into a lot of trouble and I personally, from this vantage point, think she looks ever so slightly walleyed, but, again, that's me.

What I also think is kinda awesome and notable and worthy of discussion is that girl takes the flip and starts it on the Australian portion of her dome. Like, it's not a side part as much as it's an under part. Kinda G, as far as where to go in on a hairdo. That bit, I really enjoy. It's sorta surfer chic in this gloriously meta way. You know, because, as dictated by common knowledge, people surf when they're not eating marsupials and bashing each other with didgeridoos in Australia. But what do y'all think? Are you feeling the WINEHOU$E eyes? What about the comb-over from Down Under? DEEEESCUSSSSS.

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Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen on the cover of 'Newsweek.'
Photo: Courtesy of Newsweek


OK, I just wrote, edited and then erased about 143 words on my thoughts on the restructuring of Newsweek, the redesign, and my thoughts on Tina Brown. Then I remembered that 100 percent of you don't care, and 111.34 percent of you think I meander too much (ha, what has two thumbs and did it again? THIS GUY), so let's just go ahead and look at this image. We've got Newsweek. A white seamless background. Some pretty hard-core lighting. And Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen looking... well... newsy? Maybe it's that they're not wearing sunglasses. Maybe it's that they're actually making eye contact. Maybe it's that they don't actually appear to be mouthing the word "prune." I'm not entirely sure, but there's SOMETHING that makes the overall effect crazily jarring to where I wanted to pull it out from our usual Cover Girl Roundup to talk about it in detail.

While not unattractive, this magazine looks like a Newsweek in a movie. Or like they used preexisting pickup art of the twins. Preexisting pickup art of the twins that was maybe taken as a joint mug shot? GUH. I know the description sounds wildly uncharitable, but at no point am I saying that I don't like it. I like it. Maybe a lot. But the lack of fashion editorializing makes me feel uncomfortable. I knew that the Olsens were incredibly prolific, canny and legitimately dialed into how to make us want their stuff. The thing that I perhaps wasn't taking seriously enough was how sort of scary they are once you pluck them out of tabloids and fashgossblogs and think about them as an enterprise.

Is it the presence of the Newsweek logo? Is it that I'm a self-hating textilephile? Is it the news that Michelle Obama wears The Row? This is DEFINITELY a late pass, and I'm almost mortified to admit it but maybe, until this cover of these two not just looking "cool" or "stylish" but looking like they'd take names and buy and sell EVERYBODY, I could still dismiss them a bit as straight-to-DVD actresses. Whatever. All I know is that I'mma read the CRAP outta this Robin Givhan story because she's a genius and if anyone's going to extract the real scoop on these two, it's her. Dudes, she won a PULITZER for writing about fashion. Read up. Oh, and I want this shrunken leather jacket for my spring throw-on.

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Look, let's all be very honest with ourselves. We are not really in any danger of ever being FORCED to wear Christian Louboutin shoes against our wills. No matter how David Lynch and surreal the terrorscape of some hackneyed kidnapping plot becomes, no one is going to put a gun to your head, take a knee and MAKE you ease on these revolting shoes. Yes. Revolting. Typically, for our "Let's Discuss" franchise we throw up a topic so that we can engage in a forthright and spirited discussion about whether or not we like or dislike something, but in this case we'd like to foist our fervent opinion that these here shoes are seriously fug.

The "Alex" pump and the "Puck" boot from Christian Louboutin's fall 2011 collection.
Photo: Courtesy of Christian Louboutin

I mean, so the one on the left is called the "Alex" and is intended to resemble the regal paw of a lion. Oooooor it's an homage to the tenaciousness of overdeveloped freak show bunions with oozing, mottled ends that are SO powerful that they push a gnarly, permanent convex shape into the suede of the shoe.

The trotter on the right is called "Puck" because it's an homage to the "shrewd and knavish sprite" of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." It features a curled, long, pony nap dyed in an ombre effect, and the prospect of wearing such booties makes me feel wildly uncomfortable as though I'm preparing for a hot, yiffing appointment with a Furry.

The "Splash Fur" shoe from Christian Louboutin's fall 2011 collection.
Photo: Courtesy of Christian Louboutin

This last one called "Splash Fur" we included for its quizzically slapdash plume. It is as if some really adorable woodland creature or flightless-but-oh-so-beautiful bird got enthusiastically KICKED only to find itself lodged in the buckle of the upper. It's sort of funny in its incongruousness, and we would seriously consider owning it for sheer entertainment value were we excused from rent or spatial limitations of our tiny-ass homes overflowing with shoes we genuinely intend on wearing. So. What do you think? Do you HATE them or do you etc etc etcblablablabla?

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Editorial Director
Sophia Rai
Editor-at-Large
Mary H.K. Choi
Associate Editors
Maud Deitch
Liza Darwin
Chrissy Mahlmeister
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Gaby Wilson

Featured Comment

I love these two as a couple. What a festive way to celebrate two important events in their life. Mariah looks like a dream.

Posted by Journey on Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Shut Down Disneyland To Renew Vows In Cinderella-Themed Ensembles
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