Lady Gaga getting spanked by Jean Paul Gaultier in the 'Gaga by Gaultier' documentary.
Photo: Courtesy of Jean Paul Gaultier

I just feel like this is one of those titles that should end with #duh #obvi and #asyoudo because, well, how can you bat an eyelash at any of what's going on here? So while I had every intention of giving y'all at least a 24-hour Lady Gaga break since the entire internet is constantly swarming with her various comings, goings, swaddlings, shoddings, whatever "-ings" the one for hats would be, but then she just goes and does something fascinating and wonderful like hang out with Jean Paul Gaultier so he can make a documentary about her. I love this guy.

I miss Gaultier, just in the sense that I miss him being on my feed and all over the place. Just as I wish Thierry Mugler, the actual man—no disrespect obviously to Nicola Formichetti, who is a genius and the brains behind getting LONG-ARCHIVED LACROIX WEDDING DRESSES onto my television screen *bows deeeeeeeeeeep to anoint hallowed feet with costly emollients*—who is going by "Manfred" and devoting his life to esoteric musical theater would grace my feed with a new fashion creation. Holy please come home Manfred Mugler! (I would add MM links here, but sometimes there's too many surprise exposed penises, and I'm keeping it PG.) ANYWAY, yeah, I love JPG. I love his stripes. I love his shoulder pads. I HATEENVYSEETHERlove that Gaga gets to clawpaw through his archives and pick out stuff she feels like wearing.

I love that they're getting along. I love that she uses the "vous" form when addressing him because she's not a horrible trollop person. I love that when he brings her a bouquet of flowers, they both seem genuinely delighted and happy. Basically, I can't wait for this "Gaga By Gaultier" documentary, because just when I think I've reached my personal saturation point with the Gaggle, she finds another way to pull me back and titillate me all over again. It feels pretty good.


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Urban Outfitters Headwraps.
Photo: Courtesy of Urban Outfitters

Oh man, bangs are the worst. When you don't have them, you want them BAD because you're convinced you'll look sweet and interesting as though you have only the most-attractive hobbies like crocheting full sweaters and playing the acoustic guitar your mom gave to you. A mom who could totally be your sister since she looks so young and vibrant because SHE has bangs.

But when you do have bangs, you're anticipating the three months of purgatory it'll take to grow them out enough that you can awkwardly brush them aside and pin them like some grade-schooler. Not that the side-sweep barrette isn't an adorable option for some, it's just that on most it looks like neon adult braces—hella weird. Plus, it's like EVERY TIME you eat French fries or anything remotely greeeezy, you can just feel the slick from your innards and your fingertips and around your mouth coalescing to form a ball of gross that goes STRAIGHT to your bangs and makes them look disgusting.

Which is where these bizarre headbands come in. If you've tried those hilarious clip-in bangs only to find that coarse doll hair sprouting from some vague line on your crown makes you look and feel like a borg sent to destroy mankind, your only option is to go the route of "crap dangling off a hippie headdress." A kissing cousin to the "Head Thong," these hair ornaments can't actually be worn if you already have bangs. Or, I guess you could, except that it'd be like wearing 3D glasses OVER your regular glasses, but all day. On the subway. At your desk. Talking to your boss. ALL DAY. The one on the left is called the Highway Child Goddess, and the name alone conjures troubled images of a disoriented kid wandering around the periphery of a major but fairly deserted interstate dressed in a long T-shirt, NO SHOES and this absurd halo. I blame the parents.

The thing on the right is entitled the Guitar Strap & Bead Headwrap and is fairly straightforward. In my humble estimation, they're both gross and potentially irritating, BUT I definitely like how in the pictures, the girls look like sad etsy boyfriends. That part makes me happy.

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Lady Gaga sighted leaving her hotel in London on May 12, and a bottle of Exclamation perfume.
Photo: Getty Images/Courtesy of Exclamation

Some days, trawling the internet for Gaga images is thankless work. Other days, the gods smile upon you, rain unimaginable treasures all over your face and weirdly down your neck to pool in your bra—BUT STILL, SUPER GENEROUS STUFF—and bestow upon you an indelible visual such as this. Boom, plus thank you.

I'm sorry, but this sight gag isn't made expressly for me, right? This isn't like a magic eye 3-D poster of a sailing boat or one of those, "is it two faces or a vase?"-type situations? Everyone can clearly see that monster No. 1 has taken it upon herself to become a vessel for PURE PRICELESS GENIUS and roll out of some London hotel dressed like a massive bottle of Exclamation by Coty perfume.

Her scarce midriff is disguised by the white-on-white and disappears into the circular body of the ultra-retro toiletry, and though the center circle has been reinterpreted to an off-center duck bill (in profile) more than a perfect black dot, Gaga's giant black headdress can't be misconstrued to be anything other than the bottle's handle.

The dress itself is designed by the U.K.'s own Liz Black, as a part of a 2011/2012 series entitled Concentric Thoughts, and I can only deduce that Liz, Gaga, this dress, and I all do definitely, fittingly, share the same axis with the center being sugary-smelling, midrange perfume that rose to popularity in the '90s to early aughts with girls that erred on the side of slightly... well... "not as virtuous as their mothers' would've liked."

Now, if the New York fashion plate would just dress like a bottle of Electric Youth, complete with curlicue neon filament, I would be insanely happy. But then, I'd also be drunk with power and insist upon Cacharel's Anaïs Anaïs, Mugler's Angel (star bottle version), Dior's Poison, Trésor by Lancome and maybe some ombré jam to do Fahrenheit for the lads.

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Anna Dello Russo in new 'Fashion Shower' music video.
Photo: Courtesy of Radio Deejay

OK, everybody just go watch this Anna Dello Russo video FIRST and meet me back up here when you're done. There is absolutely NO WAY you can get on the very specific wavelength I, and others who have very recently watched this INCREDIBLE piece of video magic, are jibing on so hurry up. We will wait.

*Complicated xylophone muzak*

ZOMGAAAAAAWG, right? I mean, this is unbelievable. Why? BECAUSE I LOVE IT. I cannot for the life of me decide what is going on in this short wherein Vogue Nippon's creative consultant and editor-at-large, is folding her sinewy limbs into yoga positions and leaping awkwardly to dance music whilst wearing a tasseled dress, a whole lotta smoky eye shadow, and those incredible DSquared ice skate, lace-up booties that were not made for human legs.

Seriously, what the hell is a fashion shower? Why does this exist? Is it a parody? Is this a lost Funny or Die sketch? *this is where in actuality about 15 minutes passed wherein I watched 'The Bridesmaids' preview several times both in theatrical trailer and restricted form on their site because I can't DEAL with how good it was* Between the vaseline-greezy porno lens to the completely incomprehensible lyrics, there's just something so "grand-piano-with-red-rose-buds-and-baby's-breath" that typically graces Japanese stationary about the whole thing that is very perplexing. I love that she has to be somewhat in on the joke to have made this in the first place, but then again, WHO KNOWS? And, again, no disrespect but judging from this woman's stick-thin limbs, I'm maybe thinking a "you need a fashion shower" is code for a "please feed me a gargantuan sandwich." Seriously, Dello Russo is a genius, but seeing her dance is like watching a horse being born.


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Lady Gaga trains 'American Idol' contestants.
Photo: Courtesy of Fox/Void Of Course

Between the Gaga V magazine cover, and the Gaga Cannes appearances, and the fact that she was a mentor for "American Idol" last night, it seems that Mother Monster has had herself cloned. And while it came as no surprise that she showed up with two-tone hair, a jewel encrusted Elizabethan ruff that may or may not retract, no pants, and a seemingly enlarged, ever-moving beauty mark that we've dubbed the, "ENORMOLE," what she did certainly throw host Ryan Seacrest for a loop for was her typically teetering heels featuring something of a twist.

A twist of see-through acrylic dildos. Obvi (also LOL at spellcheck not recognizing "dildo" or "spellcheck", so whatever). The black, zippered booties with the ultra-salaysh wienus feature, can be ordered from London label Void Of Course, from their A/W 2011/2012 line, and features what seems to be a 4-inch platform and a considerably healthier heel. The lookbook from the rest of the season (NSFW) showcases gas masks, leather, latex, babies?, forebodingly narrow hallways, half-naked men, more naked ladies and other such elements that are complementary to the overall Gaga aesthetic.

And while it's undeniable that the classically trained musician and multiplatinum-selling, award-winning recording artist has multiple jewels to bestow upon the ravenous proto-idols, and while we think it's HILARIOUS that the show did everything within their power to blur the image of Monster hooves, (because it took us maaaaaybe 1 million years to find a photo) we think the true take-home should be that if you really want it, like, at all costs, the surefire route is quite simple. Accessorize with more penis motifs. Like, go to town. The way I see it, more is more. Try it out, tell me how it goes, break me off, say 10 percent. Thanks. I'll be checking back with you.

Lady Gaga on 'American Idol.'
Photo: Courtesy of Fox

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Skechers Shape Ups for girls.
Photo: Courtesy of the Skechers YouTube channel

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. You're steamed, right? 'Cause this series of ads wherein effervescent, cool-girl cartoons play in a super-fun, glamorous band is pissing all over your fondest memories of Jem and the Holograms AND Barbie & the Rockers, ROIGHT? No? Well... ANYWAY, this is sort of a late pass and was considered for a "Let's Discuss" a couple of days ago and then swiftly forgotten about because I have the attention span of a sparrow fart (hmm... wait, birds don't fart. But do all birds not fart? I know that's why seagulls explode when if you feed them Alka-Seltzer. Man, if only there was a resource where I could type in a query just like this one for a wealth of related, and non-related results...) and because it was fairly knee-jerk as to what the discussion would be--Skechers Shape Ups for Girls somethingsomethingEATING DISORDER.

In the subsequent days, what I found really interesting about the coverage of these fugly kicks for ladytots are the comments on Jezebel from adult wearers of Shape Ups and other ortho-fitness shoes because apparently they cure backache, plantar fasciitis and alleviate bunion pain? Whaaa?

Typically, I'm of the, "OH HELL MASH YOUR FEET/BACK/LEGS, WHO CARES SHUZ BE PRETTIES" school, but then again, I am not a role model. In fact, the reason why I'm even writing about this at all is that today I am wearing sneakers for the first time in about a fortnight because EVERY TIME I BEND MY KNEES I HEAR MILLIONS OF MUSHY CARTILAGE CELLS POP BECAUSE I ALMOST ALWAYS WEAR 5-INCH HEELS. It totally freakin' makes me think of gelatin.

So while I actually think it's detrimental to the young psyche to plant concerns about body image and weight loss and marketing any product as a quick-fix solution, I am also not mad at creating an appeal for an orthropedic shoe so that when they're older they feel some sense of nostalgia about its appeal. Sorta like if jelly shoes were good for you. I'd be so 'bout it and maybe 30 percent less broken. Seriously, I may die of this. It's someone else's fault entirely that I am so vain, and I don't know what to do. In short: Skechers Shape Ups For Girls? Not as mad as I thought I'd be (maybe just for today, though, I am as fickle as I am vain AND FUN!). Holy crap, mah bones.

Skechers Shape Ups for girls.
Photo: Courtesy of the Skechers YouTube channel


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Cheryl Cole at 'The X Factor' in L.A. on May 8, Olivia Palermo at a 'Henry's Crime' screening in New York on April 4, and Sarah Jessica Parker at the Robin Hood Foundation gala in New York on May 9.
Photo: Getty Images/PictureGroup

So, this is happening. In a real Fugu-like display, it seems teasing-the-hair-on-the-crown-of-your-head-until-a-monstrously-large-follicle-dome-floats-several-inches-above-like-a-spun-sugar-halo, is the hottest new 'do. Every one from "The X Factor"'s Cheryl Cole to fashion plates, Olivia Palermo and Sarah Jessica Parker, have succumbed to the too-enticing temptations of looking like some Southern televangelist's child bride.

It's so weird, right? All three of these women are beautiful. And incredibly stylish. I literally cannot remember the last time Palermo caught a style L. And while SJP takes hella fashion risks, it pays off more frequently than it doesn't, and usually her hair looks pristine. Inconceivable. They all come from divergent backgrounds and enjoy completely different careers and yet, here they are, sporting Rodeo-lady hair to occasions that feature multiple photographers. Were they all just feeling a little extra-kicky or retro that day? Were they all previously at respective al fresco costume luncheons that featured burnt orange Pyrex, avocado-colored fridges, swirled linoleum, halter aprons with sunflowers on them and Tupperware that nested into each other that at one time held wee, individual icebox cakes?

It's all very, "my kitchen has a chicken theme" in a way that is confusing. Perhaps it is the handiwork of a well-respected, trusted coiffeur on a spree. Or perhaps this is just the hot newnew now. Oooooor, and this is perhaps the most likely culprit, THIS is not in fact a style as it is the hottest new workout wherein teasing your tresses until it creates a giant matted pompadour works your triceps out in an anaerobic manner that creates pilates arms and makes your head look HUGE, which makes your waist look small and your feet even tinier. DONE. SOLVED. This trend may be here for keeps. I am maybe teasing my shiz right now and having an editorial assistant take wordpress dictation. YOU CAN'T KNOW. #swag

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Necklace made of cat hair.
Photo: Kate Benjamin/Moderncat

OK. Using hair as you would any other natural fiber is nothing new in the fashion world. From Margiela to McQueen, designers have been trotting keratin-enhanced garb down the runway to wow audiences since time immemorial (like, the '90s basically, except that I am also positive some ANCIENT, FAR-FLUNG civilizations were all up on it eons ago and are eye-rolling HARD at this right now on their gen-2 iPads). This, however, is new. And, also, maybe a little gross. A Phoenix-based blogger by the name of Kate Benjamin has decided that just throwing out the enormous hair balls culled from the back of her cats was wasteful and unfortunate and decided she would, with a little time and ingenuity, make something creative and elegant.

So, the awesome thing about natural, protein-based strands of follicular stuff is that it has scales along the shaft (TWSS) that go in one direction, so if you rub some together, it felts. Boom. She got up with jeweler Heidi Abrahamson who felted the hair balls into tighter hair balls, strung them together and made necklaces, barrettes and earrings. Fin. Internet sensation.

A set of earrings and ring made of cat hair.
Photo: Kate Benjamin/Moderncat

I actually love cats. A lot. I like to look at pictures and assign them neuroses and personality quirks and stalk Japanese cats with smooshed faces on the internet because they eat dumplings from chopsticks and slide into boxes. I do all of this because I am a normal person (the normalest). I don't think I can get down all of this *waves hands around* and here's why. I'm allergic to cats. Animal dander of the feline persuasion makes me break out into hives. Having these anaphylaxis bombs dangling so close to my face and respiratory areas freaks me out. As I'm sure it would other people who are equally, if not more, prone to allergic breakouts. It's soooorta like making peanut accessories, which is sorta insensitive.

Also, I do appreciate the fact that you can send in your personal cat fur to get flipped and reversed to make magical, oh-so-bespoke adornments but just the notion of gathering and POSTING pet detritus makes me feel a little gag. It's like choosing to amass toenails to make sequins. Or urine to make dye. It's cool and all, and more power to you if you're taking reduce, reuse, recycle, to such extremes but please don't present it to me even if it IS an interesting metaphor for cycles and seasons and arcane, indigenous culture because, yuck. Also, smug. Plus, relax with the needing to find a use for fuzz in the first place. What's next? Felting dust bunnies to make--WAIT FOR IT--rabbit ornaments? ZOMG! Million-dollar idea GOOOOO!

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Rachel Bilson, Alexa Chung, and Blake Lively at the Chanel Collection Croisiere Show 2011-12 in Cap d'Antibes, France, on May 9.
Photo: Getty Images

If your RSS feed reads like mine (sexiest way ever to start a post. SCIENTIFIC. FACT.), pictures from the Karl Lagerfeld's cruise/resort/betwixt 2011/2012 collection for Chanel at Cap d'Antibes were everywhere. If not, here's a extra speedy recap: The event was a reliably mesmerizing assortment of spindly, milky-white legs and beveled sternums sprinkled with full-butt, fancy-lady swimsuits, tweed, palazzo pants, a couple of dropped waists, floral dresses with see-through illusion paneling and The Kaiser's main male muse/model Baptiste Giabiconi in a turban and a weirdly peaked Nehru collar/car coat situation that feels suitably colonial for the occasion.

It was, in short, VERY Chanel. Or rather, Chanel, circa when CoCo first decided for the whole world that pale was out, tans were in, and melanoma was something we'd all deal with later, mostly because people who took vacations were inordinately wealthy (side note: You know what I love doing? Reading the Chanel site in French because, I swear to God, it's like a pistachio macaron and a blob of pernod, satisfying and oddly classy [side bar to the side note: I mean, your man calls the launch of a pop-up store "inauguration of the ephemeral boutique." LOLOLOLOL]). Whimsical, elegant, riche without the threat of crossing the threshold to louche, the attendees were a dazzling potpourri of gorgeous girls, among them such white-toothed lovelies as Rachel Bilson, Alexa Chung and Blake Lively.

So, whose outfit did you like the best? THE END. JK.

I talk about this ad infinitum like the one-trick pony that I am, but I love Karl Lagerfeld. Genuinely and completely. He is the Regina George that has governed the high school of my entire teen-to-adult life because every time he anoints a new girl with his co-sign, I buy into it SO HARD over-and-over again and cannot stand it (read: Lily Allen). Look at Bilson. She's a vision in a boyish blazer and leather shorts. IDK if I actually cared that much until Karl put her in an ice cream commercial of all things. And, ZOMG, Blake. Has she ever looked more golden and beautiful since she started swanning around on the wing of this silver-haired Kraut? That Alexa Chung wore the least predictable, girlish, loooooong, "take-a-turn-about-the-garden" midi-length, full-skirted, empire-waisted ensemble also kills me with how strong and confident her G is because she KNEW people would be skewing short and jaunty.

Thing is, there are 1,430,000 results in 0.16 seconds if you google "Karl Lagerfeld muse" and as seething as Leighton Meester or Mischa Barton must be that they were ALMOSTSOCLOSE (the former much more than the latter, let's be honest), I maybe go to bed each night wishing, hoping, praying, idolatry-ing that one day I'll wake up and be chosen. It will probably the same day as The Rapture, and we'll all be way too busy floating up into the sky to notice I am FINALLY wearing head-to-toe Chanel like how I've always suspected I was worthy of doing, but still. It's totally on my bucket list and seeing as I'm VERY OLD it may get slightly gross towards the end bit. Choi out.

*OK, for real, promisepromisepinkyswear, tomorrow will be another trend report for "Let's Discuss." I really didn't know this post would turn into THIS post when I started out.

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Yup, MTV Style's 2011 Prom Coverage has popped off well and good with yesterday's full run-down of the 12 most memorable movie prom dresses, running the gamut from Carrie's simple pink sheath to Bella's tiered gown from Twilight, and today we've got more in dress solutions, tips and info for those thrifty prom attendees who refuse to compromise style on a budget.

In this economy, especially if you're out there toiling to put away money for an after-graduation trip or if you're saving up for college books and tuition, there's something upsetting about the prospect of dropping hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on a dress. Even if it's THE PROM. That said, the truly beautiful thing about understanding fashion, trends, and personal style is that you can absolutely find the perfect dress that's so crazily you that your friends would be up in the store, grabbing it, thrusting it in your face and squealing, GURL, this is SO you! And, you can do it on a budget. All it takes is a little research, some gumption, and nothing else since we've composed an entire gallery of gems as a cheat sheet to present no less than 20 Best Prom Dresses For Under $100. You are very welcome. Happy promming and check back in with us daily for more in 2011 coverage.

Neon Pink Embroidered Strapless Dress
Photo: Courtesy of 2PromDress

THE TREND: Fitted bodice with a full and floaty skirt.

Flouncy tulle layers in a cocktail length with an ornate bodice and megawatt hue? Perfectly on-trend and a steal at $89. Pair with strappy metallic heels and a simple clutch and you're good to go. The only thing I'd add for extra credit is a simple, pendant necklace OR drop earrings for an winningly pulled-together ensemble.

Asymmetic Bardot Cocktail Dress
Photo: Courtesy of ASOS

THE TREND: Ultra-vibrant, saturated color.

Simple, sleek, and in a beautiful, summery color that you could honestly wear to any number of occasions. Finding a dress for under a bill is resourceful, granted, but sourcing the yellow version of an LBD you can wear anywhere is the undeniable pro move.

Beaded Collar Belted Dress
Photo: Courtesy of ASOS

THE TREND: Studded accent pieces.

The sheen of silky black, the delicate Peter Pan collar that's rendered completely badass with the application of studs. The juxtaposed daintiness of an unsentimental bow on the belt. The proportions, the straight-across bodice, the short-short length. The contradictions and contrast make this the perfect dress for the nuanced complications that make you uniquely you... (and totally unpredictable).

Sequin Shift Dress
Photo: Courtesy of Nordstrom

THE TREND: Allover sequins with a subtler sheen.

The enticing sparkles of an otherwise matte sequin. The tasteful glint that speaks to a lady who definitely knows how to cut loose while remaining elegant and 100% non-sloppy at all times. A slinky scoop length and a sleeveless silhouette that moves as gracefully as you do. There isn't a shoe out there that wouldn't be complementary. Other than if that shoe was also entirely comprised of sequins though, if that is the direction you're going in a) more power to you and b) DO IT WITH HEART. Plus, seriously, this dress would carry flip flops it's THAT workwithable.

Peter Pan Collar Lace Waisted Dress
Photo: Courtesy of ASOS

THE TREND: Peter Pan collar + lace.

Color saturated lace so effectively conveys starry-eyed romanticism without the gag-reflex-inducing cloying douchechills of an overpoweringly pretty frock. Not only is God in the details with the collar but the quietly gathered waist also lends a ladylike contour without infantilizing gimmicks like a baby doll cut. If you nail the color, this is definitely a dress you will not tire of. In a pinch you could roll in wool tights and rock it in the dead of winter with a turtle neck or wear it al fresco, with a ton of jewelry and bare legs to brunch, too.


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Find Your Perfect Prom Dress Like Kendall Jenner

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Featured Comment

I love these two as a couple. What a festive way to celebrate two important events in their life. Mariah looks like a dream.

Posted by Journey on Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Shut Down Disneyland To Renew Vows In Cinderella-Themed Ensembles
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