Ahh, the ubiquitous ugly holiday sweater. What once was a cheerful way to keep warm in the '80s has now turned into a so-tacky-it's-trendy fair-weather fad. (Thanks a lot, Bill Cosby.) Entire parties get thrown in honor of these sartorial atrocities, reminding us that: 1) Most things from the '80s should stay in the '80s, and 2) no one looks good in red and green. No one. Not even you. Check eBay, Etsy or your local Goodwill, and you'll find yourself swimming in Fair Isle patterns, snowflakes, and discarded knitting projects with triangular Christmas trees and lopsided presents.
What we're offering here are not those sweaters. These holiday sweaters are kiiind of on the naughty side. They're perfect for that inevitably themed party with your friends, but we doubt Granny and Pop would approve. In fact, there's a good chance they'd be straight-up offended. Or maybe they'll deck the halls with LOLs. IDK. Either way, we've rated each from one to 10 in terms of how vulgar and/or confusing your grandparents may find it, along with its party-pleasing potential, should you take it out in public. 'Tis the season to be tacky! (Fa la la la la, la la la la.)
GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER
The Sweater: Granny Got It ($40)
Vulgarity: Nine. It doesn't get much worse than murder.
Confusion: One. We all know how this song ends. Although it kind of looks like grandma is about to get run over by MULTIPLE reindeer.
Party-Pleasing Potential: Five. Points for clarity and the allusion to a campy holiday tune, but there's one major downside: being forced to listen to everyone you encounter sing that song, word for word.
What Would Grandma Say: "Young people these days have no respect for their elders!"