Kanye West outside of Hot 97 studios.
Photo: Getty Images
Forget the Kanye West shoe collaboration you knew/loved/couldn't afford: Ye is leaving Nike for adidas. (How much are the existing Air Yeezys gonna go for now? Like, 10 billion dollars?) Kanye nonchalantly announced his new partnership during an interview with Hot 97 yesterday and while royalties seem to be the driving force behind the swap, adidas also offers more (dare we say it?) clothing design opportunities for Ye.
The Nike x Kanye partnership made total sense: Kanye loves Nikes and, as he mentioned in the Hot 97 interview, Yeezys made people excited for shoes in a way they hadn't been since the first release of Air Jordans. Kanye was the first and at the time for first inking the deal, only non-athlete working with Nike, which made him special, which, as we all know, is Kanye West's #1 fave thing. However, when Nike teamed up with Eminiem, the company was suddenly "not doing [him] any favors." And so, it seems if Kanye isn't going to be special anymore, he'd rather get royalties, which Nike wasn't offering to him.
Robert Pattinson and his new goatee at the 6th Annual Go Go Gala.
Photo: Getty Images
Dear Robert Pattinson’s New Goatee,
Look, I know we don’t really know each other that well, but I’ve got a bone to pick with you, sir. You’re new around here, I get that. But first impressions are hard to change and my first impression of you and your finely-tuned shape is, well, not great. I don’t necessarily want to make you feel unwelcome, but like, what exactly are you doing on R. Patz’s face? Why are you here? What is your purpose?
The unkempt beard was one thing. That, we could at least relate to—because TBH, shaving (your face, legs, etc.) can be a total time suck and sometimes it’s just SO much easier to let your follicles run free for a while, you know? Also, I don't believe for a minute that you're around for a role, so don't try to play that card with me. As far as I’m concerned, ~all~ characters can be conquered by a prosthetic facial piece. I mean, you saw Tom Hanks in Castaway, right? There is no way that man grew a curly blond beard on his own.
Sexy Pizza, Sexy Fries, and Sexy Burger Halloween costumes.
The "sexy" Halloween costume has been a holiday staple of sorts since long before Mean Girls made fun of it in 2006. The practice of young ladies turning lingerie into costumes has been plaguing All Hallows' Eve for at least a decade, and while it may have started with skimpy versions of cop costumes or firefighters or animals, it's since spread to just about everything: "sexy" ninjas, "sexy" children's toys, "sexy" Hannibal Lecter, and who could ever forget those "sexy" Sesame Street characters? Welp, it turns out there are also food costumes. Thus, this week's Food Friday topic.
Given that dressing up as food is notably on-trend this year AND given that the sexualization of Halloween costumes knows no bounds, we should have seen this one coming. I mean, why (other than, you know, a preference for modesty and the fact that late October can get pretty chilly) would you rather wear an XL sweatshirt printed with a blown out photo of greasy pepperoni pizza when you can wear this costume from Yandy.com which comes with a built-in crust neck pillow instead?? And one thing is for sure: a skintight bodycon minidress is exactly what I want to wear after eating super-sized French fries and a Big Mac.
Lady Gaga in a full leather jumpsuit in NYC on Aug. 20.
Photo: Splash News
Hold on, y'all—just yesterday we obsessed over Lady Gaga's insanely on-point '80s steez, but she ALREADY swapped out her sleek, short 'do for voluminous golden curls and a futuristic head-to-toe leather jumpsuit. If it wasn't obvious already, Mother Monster is the master of transformation, and to be totally honest, we have absolutely no idea what to expect at her 2013 VMA performance this weekend. (Well, except for pure and total awesomeness #duh). She was spotted in NYC yesterday sporting a skin-tight leather number, and we have to admit she looked HOT—and we mean that literally. It's pushing 90 degrees right now in the Big Apple, and we have to give her may-juh props for pulling off a turtleneck and pants look without letting a single bead of sweat drip from her face. *golf clap*
Would you wear these robot leggings?
Photo: Nasty Gal
OK, I probably should have put "Robot Leggings" in quotation marks to start because truth be told, that's what they deserve. If you just read this headline, "Would You Wear These Robot Leggings?" without seeing the picture, you probably had visions somewhere along the lines of Balenciaga's Spring/Summer 2007 collection with that bananas impressive C-3PO-ready skintight gold leg armor. Or at the very least, you thought of some Lycra, pajama-safe rendering of Power Ranger costumes. It's safe to say that you didn't at all think of these Daniel Palillo "robot leggings" as they are so-called by Nasty Gal.
Would you wear this nose jewel cuff?
So, earlier this week, Lady Gaga revealed that she's the proud owner of a brand new septum piercing. Her return to the spotlight means a few things. Yea, new music. Sure, new Terry Richardson photoshoots. But what we're probably most excited for are the new, inventive outfits and trends that we'll inevitably start trying to incorporate thanks to her keen sartorial eye. Are septum piercings one of those new trends? We don't know yet. Could it be? Definitely. Especially if ASOS and this nose cuff have anything to do with it.
Miley Cyrus in Berlin on July 23.
Photo: Splash News
Oh hay, Miles! I hope you don't mind me calling you that. It's your girl Chrissy. Just wanted to say that I totally saw you filming a TV interview in Berlin yesterday (no, not in real life, Miles! I saw pap shots. I'm not that much of a stalker, hehe), and I noticed you were wearing a long sleeve black leather dress in 80-degree weather. (I know the temp because I Googled it, hehe.) And listen, I get it—it's Jitrois, it's 100% real lambskin, it's $3,000, and it fits you like a freakin' glove, but, Miles, it's July. Like, not even the beginning of the month where you're just getting the hang of this whole ~summer~ thing. It's near the end. We're even closer to August (the hottest month of the freaking YEAR), and you're swimming in all that leathery stuff like it's NBD.
On Saturday night, mustachioed television host and noisy Republican, Geraldo Rivera, took to Twitter to announce that "70 is the new 50." To emphasize his point, he posted a selfie of himself clad in a towel slung so low on his hips that you can see his "D'Angelo muscles," which is to say you can see his obliques. Witnessing this particular #OOTD (outfit of the day) is eighteen-million types of alarming and one of those things you can't unsee.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about because I'm just "mashing together some names you've heard your mom say" it's because prior to this moment you gave not one F about this Geraldo dude (if it's the same case for D'Angelo, you should study up he's VERY good). The cheat-sheet is that he's been married 5 times, has been to Iraq 11 times as a war correspondent and once famously humiliated himself on live television in the late-80s when he claimed to have discovered the vault containing Al Capone's treasures and then cracked it open to find some dirty old bottles. If you follow any Old People, you will see variations of this joke in your timeline.
Welp, if there's one thing we learned in the past month or so, it's that you definitely don't want to mess with a Taylor Swift fan. In June, the Swiftie Nation single-handedly got a "#More Boyfriends Than T.S." tee pulled from Abercrombie, and this week Taylor's fanbase is speaking out over another top they want removed ASAP, which lists the last names of guys Taylor has been linked to in the past. The tank in question was created by Bad Kids Clothing, an EDM brand that sells tons of party-ready tees with catchy phrases. The Taylor Swift shirt, which started out as a "light hearted joke between friends" began to gain traction when the brand posted a pic of the tee to Instagram. Instantly, BKC was bombarded with "emails, phone calls, texts, all from 'Swifties' threatening to kill us and burn our store down because of how disrespectful we were being to Taylor," the brand stated on their website.
Would you wear these Linda Farrow x Walter Van Beirendonck sunglasses?
Photo: Opening Ceremony
Heart-shaped sunglasses, or rather, sunglasses with heart-shaped lenses and frames are by no means ground-breaking. While we're unsure of the precise origins of the style, we know they extend at least as far back as 1962 and Stanley Kubrick's Lolita. The movie's iconic poster features the title character peering over top of a pair of red sweetheart sunnies. Since then, they've been adopted, updated, rendered frameless, over-sized, and even given a shutter shades version, but until now, have never looked quite like this. Instead of each lens being cut into the shape of a heart—creating the illusion of a hearts-for-eyes look—these Linda Farrow x Walter Van Beirendonck specs put two (colored AND mirrored!) lenses together to make one heart. Across your entire face.