Kat Dennings attends 'Philadelphia Style' magazine's 12th anniversary issue party in Philadelphia on May 16, Stephanie Pratt attends Coca-Cola's 125th Anniversary Celebration in Beverly Hills, California, on May 17, and Hilary Rhoda attends Free Arts NYC's 12th annual Art Auction benefit in New York on May 17.
Photo: Getty Images

IT'S FRIDAY! *sings to self "Friday, gotta get down on Friday..."* No other day of the week brings about such unadulterated gratification like Friday. I mean, sure you don't have work or school on Saturdays, but sometimes so much PRESSURE gets put on Saturdays to the point where they end up being almost as stressful as a regular weekday. OR you go the opposite route and say to yourself, "I've had a really tough week. I'm going to take a little 'ME' time and relax," and your little inner cheerleading squad is like "F*** YEAH! LET'S DO IT!" Then you just end up wasting the whole day "catching up on sleep" and eating Ben & Jerry's for breakfast/lunch/dinner in your PJs. You know, I do. FRIDAYS, on the other hand, are THE best balance of both worlds. You wake up, have a productive day, and then when that's over, you're FREE to conquer the night! It's the very best way to finish off a week. Just like a great pair of SHOES is the best way to finish off an outfit! (See what I did there?)

In honor of the beauty of balance, this week's Shoe Update shows you how to pair feminine pieces with tougher, edgier ones and make it WERK. First up, Kat Dennings wears Chloë Sevigny for Opening Ceremony's Mary Anne clog boots to Philadelphia Style magazine's 12th anniversary party. The curvature of the heel is super femme-sexy, while the black leather upper and combat-esque lacing toughens the pair up. She's ALSO switching things up with that neon pink blazer—masculine tailoring in a girly color. MMM, PREACH, GIRL! Stephanie Pratt wore a pair of pink-and-white floral wide-strap wedges (also platforms) to Coca-Cola's 125th Anniversary Celebration and paired them with a dainty lace dress and an edgy gray moto-jacket. And Hilary Rhoda rocks a pair of wide ankle-strap cutout heels with a cropped leather jacket on top of a black-and-green dress with mesh detailing which echoes her shoes' cutouts without TOTAL geometric mimicry (which can get weird). Check out these and more in our gallery below.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE KILLER CELEB SHOE PORN!!!

+ What's behind the jump? See Shenae Grimes, Jessica Szohr, Jennifer Lopez, and MANY MORE in our Hot Celebrity Shoes gallery, which is updated weekly. You are SO welcome.

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Keri Hilson at the Maxim Hot 100 Party in Hollywood on May 11, Tilda Swinton at the 64th Annual Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France, on May 12, and Shanna Moakler at the Los Angeles Premiere of 'Skateland' in Hollywood on May 11.
Photo: Getty Images

You guys! It's been a REALLY good week in shoes. I mean, that's totally the barometer of a good week, right? Internationally, domestically, financially, holistically, man, we're just so LUCKY. Anyway, the week was so good that instead of attempting to fit our top shoes into a happy little category or trend or anything remotely cohesive... we've just picked three totally WONDERFUL pairs that we cannot stop ogling. To where if it were IRL, it would be completely creepy. PERRRRRFECTION. Well, except those orthopedic sneakers for children happened...zzzzzzzzzzzzz... *wakes up startled at sound of own boisterous gap-mouthed snoring* Anyhow, these ladies sported the very best shoes this week had to offer.

Keri Hilson did that pretty girl rock all over the Maxim Hot 100 Party in these jonquil sueded platform wedges. These shoes paired with an olive cut-out body-con Donna Mizani dress, bright lips, and an asymmetrical bob make Keri the consummate glamazon. Across the pond and a couple of time zones over at Cannes, Tilda Swinton wore a pair of gorgeous black thin-strapped heels with straw details including a GIANT straw rosebud embellishment on the shoe's upper. The heels are the perfect balance of sculptural, delicate yet bold, which so perfectly encapsulates Tilda's signature style. Former beauty queen and former wife of Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker, Shanna Moakler, trotted down the red carpet of the L.A. premiere of "Skateland" in a pair all-over studded peep-toe slingbacks with angular bows. She paired them with a drapey asymmetrical cobalt frock and half-pony that was both pretty and edgy. I would ask which pair speaks most to your personal style, but personally, I'd probably come up with an excuse to wear all three. I HEART ALL SHOES. Sorry I'm not sorry.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE KILLER CELEB SHOE PORN!!!

+ What's behind the jump? See Christina Milian, Melody Thornton, Jennifer Hudson, and MANY MORE in our Hot Celebrity Shoes gallery, which is updated weekly. You are SO welcome.

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Lady Gaga trains 'American Idol' contestants.
Photo: Courtesy of Fox/Void Of Course

Between the Gaga V magazine cover, and the Gaga Cannes appearances, and the fact that she was a mentor for "American Idol" last night, it seems that Mother Monster has had herself cloned. And while it came as no surprise that she showed up with two-tone hair, a jewel encrusted Elizabethan ruff that may or may not retract, no pants, and a seemingly enlarged, ever-moving beauty mark that we've dubbed the, "ENORMOLE," what she did certainly throw host Ryan Seacrest for a loop for was her typically teetering heels featuring something of a twist.

A twist of see-through acrylic dildos. Obvi (also LOL at spellcheck not recognizing "dildo" or "spellcheck", so whatever). The black, zippered booties with the ultra-salaysh wienus feature, can be ordered from London label Void Of Course, from their A/W 2011/2012 line, and features what seems to be a 4-inch platform and a considerably healthier heel. The lookbook from the rest of the season (NSFW) showcases gas masks, leather, latex, babies?, forebodingly narrow hallways, half-naked men, more naked ladies and other such elements that are complementary to the overall Gaga aesthetic.

And while it's undeniable that the classically trained musician and multiplatinum-selling, award-winning recording artist has multiple jewels to bestow upon the ravenous proto-idols, and while we think it's HILARIOUS that the show did everything within their power to blur the image of Monster hooves, (because it took us maaaaaybe 1 million years to find a photo) we think the true take-home should be that if you really want it, like, at all costs, the surefire route is quite simple. Accessorize with more penis motifs. Like, go to town. The way I see it, more is more. Try it out, tell me how it goes, break me off, say 10 percent. Thanks. I'll be checking back with you.

Lady Gaga on 'American Idol.'
Photo: Courtesy of Fox

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Skechers Shape Ups for girls.
Photo: Courtesy of the Skechers YouTube channel

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. You're steamed, right? 'Cause this series of ads wherein effervescent, cool-girl cartoons play in a super-fun, glamorous band is pissing all over your fondest memories of Jem and the Holograms AND Barbie & the Rockers, ROIGHT? No? Well... ANYWAY, this is sort of a late pass and was considered for a "Let's Discuss" a couple of days ago and then swiftly forgotten about because I have the attention span of a sparrow fart (hmm... wait, birds don't fart. But do all birds not fart? I know that's why seagulls explode when if you feed them Alka-Seltzer. Man, if only there was a resource where I could type in a query just like this one for a wealth of related, and non-related results...) and because it was fairly knee-jerk as to what the discussion would be--Skechers Shape Ups for Girls somethingsomethingEATING DISORDER.

In the subsequent days, what I found really interesting about the coverage of these fugly kicks for ladytots are the comments on Jezebel from adult wearers of Shape Ups and other ortho-fitness shoes because apparently they cure backache, plantar fasciitis and alleviate bunion pain? Whaaa?

Typically, I'm of the, "OH HELL MASH YOUR FEET/BACK/LEGS, WHO CARES SHUZ BE PRETTIES" school, but then again, I am not a role model. In fact, the reason why I'm even writing about this at all is that today I am wearing sneakers for the first time in about a fortnight because EVERY TIME I BEND MY KNEES I HEAR MILLIONS OF MUSHY CARTILAGE CELLS POP BECAUSE I ALMOST ALWAYS WEAR 5-INCH HEELS. It totally freakin' makes me think of gelatin.

So while I actually think it's detrimental to the young psyche to plant concerns about body image and weight loss and marketing any product as a quick-fix solution, I am also not mad at creating an appeal for an orthropedic shoe so that when they're older they feel some sense of nostalgia about its appeal. Sorta like if jelly shoes were good for you. I'd be so 'bout it and maybe 30 percent less broken. Seriously, I may die of this. It's someone else's fault entirely that I am so vain, and I don't know what to do. In short: Skechers Shape Ups For Girls? Not as mad as I thought I'd be (maybe just for today, though, I am as fickle as I am vain AND FUN!). Holy crap, mah bones.

Skechers Shape Ups for girls.
Photo: Courtesy of the Skechers YouTube channel

WATCH THE SKECHERS SHAPE UPS FOR GIRLS VIDEO BELOW!!!

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Sarah Shahi at the premiere of 'Something Borrowed' in Hollywood, California on May 3, Jennifer Hudon leaving a midtown Manhattan hotel in New York City on May 5, and Lucy Hale at 'Nylon' magazine's May Young Hollywood issue celebration in Hollywood on May 3.
Photo: Getty Images

I don't know about the rest of the world, but only recently has it finally started to feel like not-winter here in the Big Apple. I've actually shed my puffer coat (which I've been rocking since September, no joke, because I am a total weakling when it comes to cold weather) and maaaaay even be getting a little color back. As temperatures rise, hemlines follow suit. While shorts and skirts are getting shorter and baring more skin, shoes seem to be covering more and more epidermal real estate to make up the difference. This week we were happily witness to some gorgeous gam-gobbling stompers (hmmm... now why does that sound really suggestive?).

On May 3, Sarah Shahi trotted down the blue carpet of the Hollywood premiere of Warner Bros. 'Something Borrowed' in these futuristic-meets-natural, mega-juxtaposed elastic strap wedge with espadrille platforms. Jennifer Hudson was spotted (looking sublime as always) exiting her midtown Manhattan hotel in these nude-and-black stiletto gladiators laced up above her ankles on May 5 (en route to some swanky Cinco de Mayo festivities?? Girrrrl, why weren't we invited?! [edit: um probably because some of us + tequila = not cute.]) And Shoe Update veteran, and Pretty Little Liars' Lucy Hale, showed up at Nylon magazine's May Young Hollywood Issue Celebration in these all-over black, embossed, peep-toe bootie-wedge hybrids buckled aaaall the way up, inching close to mid-calf!

CLICK HERE FOR MORE KILLER CELEB SHOE PORN!!!

+ What's behind the jump? See Kristin Cavallari, Lea Michele, Ginnifer Goodwin, and MANY MORE in our Hot Celebrity Shoes gallery, which is updated weekly. You are SO welcome.

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Shoe Boots from Prada's Fall 2011 ready-To-Wear Collection.
Photo: Courtesy of Style.com/Net-a-Porter

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath* BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. ZOMG *wipes eyes* You guys. Is this happening? Did I dream this so I could have theeee perfect post for this morning's "Let's Discuss"? I mean, this is brilliant, right? Did some saboteur slip on Miuccia's whole body skin and wig to gallop into her work area to scrawl what they thought to be the FUNNIEST most FUGLIEST also, let's face it, RACISTIEST shoe ever on the magical notebook dedicated to FINAL PRODUCTION IDEAS? (Right? That's how shoe-boots get born? They're drawn in crayon on the gilded Moleskine that gets sent to the cobbler factory straightaway to be faithfully executed without any checks or balances, just a line drawing?)

So much going on here. First of all, the Mary Jane itself? GAHROSS. The dead-leg sheen that's uniform on both the shoe and the shin is so freaky. The stout, leather-covered heel. The cartoon button. The entire thing that looks like a prosthesis and like it would be cold to the touch. The weird elasticky seam in the front. The pull-on stretchy zigzag seam on the top. What is happening? Prada is a clever woman, and I can't help but think this is a publicity stunt of some sort. Or some meme-baitish trope. Whoa. I just kinda blew my mind. Remember the story about The Red Shoes. Where the chick somethingsomethingSHOES and couldn't stop dancing, and then the woodcutter had to CUT OFF HER LEGS so that the demonic heels that had possessed her feet would finally let her rest? Maybe these shoes are a metaphor for temptation and vanity and being careful what you wish for and... and... Man, I have no idea. I'm just thoroughly entertained because these bishes are disgusting. You can see the rest of the collection here, but for sure these "flesh" (a way-more-subjective term than these presume) colored ones are my disgustofaves. SOOOO GOOOD.

P.S. Oh, and (nerd alert but) everybody reeeeeelax if they want to talk surrealism and invoke Schiaparelli. This ain't that.

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Whitney Port in Giuseppe Zanotti on April 26, Vonzell Solomon in Senso on April 26, and Hayden Panettiere in Jimmy Choo on April 26.
Photo: Getty Images

This week's Shoe Update was kiiiind of a no-brainer. I mean, when I see these ladies all in a row, my eyeballs physically cannot stray past the confines of the less-than-1-inch area between their ankles and the carpet. Just LOOK at these stompers! They're literally SCREAMING for a feature in a celeb/fashion/humor/style blog. Am I riiiiight? And the ladies totally know it, too, as evidenced by how much they downplay the rest of their ensembles. After hitting up the Lakers-Hornets game, Whitney Port pops over to the Us Weekly Hot Hollywood party on April 26 in these bright purple lace-up platforms with stacked heels by Giuseppe Zanotti. (Possibly in honor of the Lakers' win that night?) She lets the shoes shine by pairing them with an understated one shoulder mini for a cool-but-not-too in-your-face combo. In a black body-con and blazer, Vonzell Solomon from American Idol lets her pink cheetah booties (whaaaaat??) by Senso take center stage at the opening of 'Burn The Floor' in Hollywood. Hayden Panettiere braves a skinnier heel in these Jimmy Choo black platform peep toes with the BLANG-BLANGin-est ankle straps to ever walk the red carpet. Hayden streamlines her outfit with a little black-on-black-on-black, but her iced out ankles are clearly the stars of this little number. In a line-up so diverse, how can you choose a favorite?? GIMME 'EM ALL! (Summer Santa?)

CLICK HERE FOR MORE KILLER CELEB SHOE PORN!!!

+ What's behind the jump? See Eva Mendes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Khloé Kardashian, and MANY MORE in our Hot Celebrity Shoes gallery, which is updated weekly. You are SO welcome.

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Look, let's all be very honest with ourselves. We are not really in any danger of ever being FORCED to wear Christian Louboutin shoes against our wills. No matter how David Lynch and surreal the terrorscape of some hackneyed kidnapping plot becomes, no one is going to put a gun to your head, take a knee and MAKE you ease on these revolting shoes. Yes. Revolting. Typically, for our "Let's Discuss" franchise we throw up a topic so that we can engage in a forthright and spirited discussion about whether or not we like or dislike something, but in this case we'd like to foist our fervent opinion that these here shoes are seriously fug.

The "Alex" pump and the "Puck" boot from Christian Louboutin's fall 2011 collection.
Photo: Courtesy of Christian Louboutin

I mean, so the one on the left is called the "Alex" and is intended to resemble the regal paw of a lion. Oooooor it's an homage to the tenaciousness of overdeveloped freak show bunions with oozing, mottled ends that are SO powerful that they push a gnarly, permanent convex shape into the suede of the shoe.

The trotter on the right is called "Puck" because it's an homage to the "shrewd and knavish sprite" of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream." It features a curled, long, pony nap dyed in an ombre effect, and the prospect of wearing such booties makes me feel wildly uncomfortable as though I'm preparing for a hot, yiffing appointment with a Furry.

The "Splash Fur" shoe from Christian Louboutin's fall 2011 collection.
Photo: Courtesy of Christian Louboutin

This last one called "Splash Fur" we included for its quizzically slapdash plume. It is as if some really adorable woodland creature or flightless-but-oh-so-beautiful bird got enthusiastically KICKED only to find itself lodged in the buckle of the upper. It's sort of funny in its incongruousness, and we would seriously consider owning it for sheer entertainment value were we excused from rent or spatial limitations of our tiny-ass homes overflowing with shoes we genuinely intend on wearing. So. What do you think? Do you HATE them or do you etc etc etcblablablabla?

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Fergie at Macy's in New York on April 21.
Clockwise from top left: Reality in Sapphire, Barter in Black, Tremble in Green, Quilla in Clementine, and Bold in Black.
Photo: Getty Images/Courtesy of Fergie Footwear

Given Jessica Simpson and Carlos Santana's incredible successes in the shoe department, it comes as no surprise that she of the consistently bronzed, obscenely shapely legs—Fergie—would be hot to trot into the game. And, what's even more notable is that like Simpson and Santana, her reasonably priced offerings are not only totally accessible but cute. The spring/summer line is available at Macy's or online (with most at just under $100) and there's wedges, platforms and sandals galore. Check out what the shoes look like on display in real life (you can see the colors with some accuracy here) and for the whole collection, you can check her site but peep our top 5 (working from the top left).

We love this blue suede wedge sandal called "Reality" since the T-strap upper is large enough to not only be comfy but support the heel. You can pair this with high-waisted, denim flares for a retro feel, or it'd look just as cute with a vibrant midi skirt.

With the suggestively named "Barter," we're working with a mesh that's supported with a double-looped strap. Note that the straps are padded and that the 2-inch platform on the front makes the teetering stiletto easier on your arch.

This stacked-heel, lace-up, open-toed clog is a no-brainer. You can wear the green "Tremble" with anything. Just as long as your pedi's right and the burnished studs don't clash with your accessories.

The "Quilla" in orange is the perfect summer shoe. The wedge means that you can navigate all sorts of BBQ terrain and the color pops against all types of breezy backdrops. Again, we're working with a platform so you can run around town (or seaside resort) in the utmost comfort.

OK, this middle shoe called the "Bold" (I'll say) is kinda an intense shoe. And by "intense" we mean we love it and are perfectly willing to wear these even with the most innocent of eyelet smocks. It's all about the interplay and juxtapositioning, people.

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Khloé Kardashian in Jimmy Choo on April 11, Emma Roberts in Elie Saab on April 11, and Lucy Hale in Giuseppe Zanotti on April 10.
Photo: Getty Images

Of course, we spotted their hot, ankle-grazing shoes FIRST. How could we not?! Khloé Kardashian stepped out at a celebration for the Kardashian Redbook cover in red/pink/funky b&w patterned strappy Jimmy Choo sandals that were in clear competition with her bow-tie and alarmingly cinched waist. Meanwhile, Emma Roberts sparkled at the Scream 4 premiere in the most-fabulous/we-want-them-NOW black Elie Saab cutout stacked heels, which she teamed with a glittering blue Burberry frock (black and blue works in our book). And Lucy Hale popped by the 22nd Annual GLAAD Media Awards in a Giuseppe Zanotti open-toe booties that overpowered her feet (but in a cool edgy way). OK, so we can all agree that the shoes this week were the ish. But, after ohhhing and ahhhing over them, we quickly turned our attention to the girls' equally fabulous pedicures. Did you think we didn't notice?! Khloé chose a Smurf-y blue lacquer that added a dose of color to her tootsies (as if she didn't have enough already), while Emma and Lucy stuck with classic black and red, respectively. Proof that a pedi can sometimes make or break a fly shoe.... just as raggedy dogs can destroy an ensemble, regardless of bajillion-dollar red soles.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE KILLER CELEB SHOE PORN!!!

+ What's behind the jump? See Mischa Barton, Harley Viera-Newton, Hayley Kiyoko, and MANY MORE in our Hot Celebrity Shoes gallery, which is updated weekly. You are SO welcome.

+ What ELSE is behind the jump? Insane cutaway, red VELVET platforms with ginormous bows, a sculpted heel open-toe that looks fractured and freaky in patent leather with neon panels and, ahem, kinda the most egregious case of shrimping disgusto toes without a pedicure :( , and strappy sandals with so much gonzo bananas, multicolored beading in laborious designs that goes with NOTHING and therefore EVERYTHING. Shuz. Omigawd. Shuz. Better lotion those ankles, ladies. x

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I love these two as a couple. What a festive way to celebrate two important events in their life. Mariah looks like a dream.

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