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Continuum N12 Bikini.
Photo: Courtesy of Continuum/Ariel Efron

I love science. I am a sucker for smartypantses and people who just seem like smartypantses because they're polysyllabic and confusing and wear glasses and small trousers. But sometimes an errant poindexter starts chipping away at a problem that just isn't a problem and bad stuff like this 3-D bikini happens. I know. I didn't get it either, but upon watching the video and reading the literature, basically you send your sizes to a company called Continuum Fashion and they PRINT a bikini for you out of these wee little, flexible nylon 12 (aka polyamide) discs that join at angles that allow for topography that fit EXACTLY to the curvature of your body and is "surprisingly comfortable." What? Yeah, no.

I mean, look at this thing. I realize that it's COOL and RAD that you can make this nonfabric behave like fabric but kinda who cares when there's this thing called FABRIC. AMIRITE? Stay in your lane scientists...

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