"70 is the new 50."
Photo: @GeraldoRivera Twitter
On Saturday night, mustachioed television host and noisy Republican, Geraldo Rivera, took to Twitter to announce that "70 is the new 50." To emphasize his point, he posted a selfie of himself clad in a towel slung so low on his hips that you can see his "D'Angelo muscles," which is to say you can see his obliques. Witnessing this particular #OOTD (outfit of the day) is eighteen-million types of alarming and one of those things you can't unsee.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about because I'm just "mashing together some names you've heard your mom say" it's because prior to this moment you gave not one F about this Geraldo dude (if it's the same case for D'Angelo, you should study up he's VERY good). The cheat-sheet is that he's been married 5 times, has been to Iraq 11 times as a war correspondent and once famously humiliated himself on live television in the late-80s when he claimed to have discovered the vault containing Al Capone's treasures and then cracked it open to find some dirty old bottles. If you follow any Old People, you will see variations of this joke in your timeline.