Rihanna rocking killer under curvature of the breast in Armani at the 2012 Grammys.
Here at MTV Style, we subscribe to the to each her own, flaunt what you've got school of thought when it comes to style choices. Not so fond of said philosophy, however, is CBS, the network that will be broadcasting the 55th Annual Grammy Awards live on the east coast this Sunday. In an email with the subject line "55th GRAMMYS: Standard and Practice Wardrobe Advisory" that has been making the rounds on the internet today (first reported via Deadline), someone, who we're going to venture to guess is probably a dude, laid out some ground rules affecting what our favorite ladies can wear on Sunday night. The email reminds us of a puritanical high school dress code, with the assertion that artists and their stylists, and we quote, "please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered," among other things being, frankly, pretty hilarious. To elaborate on what they mean by "adequately," the memo goes on to say that "bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic." Does anyone else feel like they're listening to their principal give a lecture before a high school dance? *Cue Peanuts gang Wah-Wah grownup voice* Also "problematic" are "thong type costumes" and the "bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack." Once you're done chuckling at the phrase "buttock crack," stand beside us in solidarity for side-boob. Speaking of, what exactly are "female breast nipples," as in, "Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples." I mean, duh, we know, but like, do females have other kinds of nipples that we're not aware of (also shudder at the word "females")? Are male breast nipples allowed? Heaven forbid the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Sisqo can't let their shirtless freak flags fly (ok so maybe the dudes being shirtless trend is a little over). And one more thing, when CBS says "Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure," what exactly is that? That's one of those things where we think we get it but aren't totally sure and we just have to shake our heads. We're tempted to stand up on our soap box with a megaphone and start yelling now. Leave our "female breast nipples" alone! Rihanna, Katy Perry, don't lose sight of who you are. Viva side-boob!
Oh wait ONE more egregious affront to freedom that we just have to mention: "The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory," which means, no pink breast cancer ribbons, red AIDS ribbons, or American flags on your lapel? Is this all just a set up to get the rebels of the music industry to #OccupyGrammys? It's not like we think anyone is going to take this sitting down (or butt cheeks covered, as it were), but honestly, what does THE MAN want, a pop star uprising? In memory of sartorial freedom from tyranny on the Grammy red carpet, we've put together some of the most surprisingly (and not so surprisingly) memo-violating looks from the past three years after the jump. Look at them while listening to Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You" on repeat.
fergie: February 12, 2012