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Look it. Far be it for us to besmirch the infallible veracity of everything Perez Hilton. Like, in life or in fever dreams wherein sensory faculties are compromised, but we can ID dude as being important and best when looking upon us favorably. HOWEVER, check out this Coco Perez post DUB. TEE. EFF??!! Ummmmmm. If you're a loyal reader (as all of you should be), you'll remember we figured out YESTERDAY that Jessica Simpson's tweet regarding her "scuba shoes" was meant in jest. And we knew because we correctly ID'd the shoes as designed by Paul Schietekat. Coco Perez was all, "Jessica Simpson 'announced' she's expanding her shoe line to scuba fins." Throughout the afternoon, a slew of sites picked up the story and ran with it. One full day later, aka today (that's like math, right?) Coco Perez is all, "Nice try, Jess" and to that say: AHEM. Or in modern (so modern) internet parlance: FIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Photo: Courtesy of @JessicaSimpson

 

Sooooo, Jessica Simpson tweeted yesterday that she has "scuba gear coming soon" for her Jessica Simpson Collection and then linked to these SUPER GROSSMONSTER HYBRID FLIPPER STILETTO BARFS and continued to write, "Heels for every occasion ;)" We then noticed that Perez Hilton blogged about it on Coco Perez saying, "Jessica Simpson announced she's expanding her shoe line to scuba fins. This is almost as silly as that non-water friendly bathing suit." We were all like, "What? This can't be real. This bish made like eighteen majillion squillion dollars on shoes last year..." But then, our unflappable sleuth skills kicked in, which is about the time that we noticed the presence of a, WAIT FOR IT, winky face! Turns out, Stylelist wrote about these weirdo flipper heels, like, a thousand years ago (OK, it was 2007), and they aren't even REAL SHOES. They are an art installation piece by a Belgian sculptor named Paul Schietekat entitled "High Tide Heels." Sorry Perez, strike through update winky frowny face that jam. You got hornswoggled. #flimflam

Are those heels for REAL?
Photo: Courtesy of Paul Schietekat

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I love these two as a couple. What a festive way to celebrate two important events in their life. Mariah looks like a dream.

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