You can get penis earrings and molar rings from Kesha Rose by Charles Albert.
Photo: Kesha Rose by Charles Albert
Today's your day, Animals! Ke$ha has finally officially launched her much-anticipated (and Instagrammed) Kesha Rose by Charles Albert premier jewelry collection. The first installment of her new accessories line is made up of pendants, rings, earrings, bracelets, and necklaces, all combining the pre-existing Charles Albert accessories aesthetic with Ke$ha's inimitable personality. And yes, the major takeaway is that it heavily features teeth and penises. A terrifying combination on so many levels, but stick with us for a minute.
There are actually so many pieces in this first Kesha Rose offering that, in order to fully embody the different facets of Ke$ha, the full line is actually broken up into several mini-collections. Out Alive features black obsidian skulls, red and black roses, and a spike or two. Wonderland employs clear quartz crystals and opalescent blue druse stars on earrings and rings. Warrior intermixes arrowheads and shark teeth, while Supernatural is made up of gobs of turquoise and pyrite. The Cannibal collection compiles all the pieces modeled after human fans' teeth, and then, there's a collection cheekily called Grow A Pear.
Sure, there are Ke$ha dollar signs thrown in there too, but the main focus of Grow A Pear is OBVIOUSLY all the cartoon penises. They come as three different earrings styles: post, drop, and chain drop. There are two ring sizes: small and large. (P.S. That size refers to the *achem* emblem size, not the actual ring size to fit your finger.) And you can either get a full penis necklace with the chain and everything OR just the pendant to put on a chain you already own. ALSO, Ke$ha made it really hard for you to have any excuse NOT to buy some hilarious penis jewelry of your own. The Grow A Pear pieces retail from $12.00 to $20.00, a significant price drop from her other weightier items, some of which boast tags over $100. Just don't forget to take the genital-themed baubles off around your grandparents. Or do? IDK, it's your penis jewelry at that point, guys!