It's been a hot minute since we had some Fashion Fanfic on da blog, and when we spotted Joe Jonas having a grand ol' time during Milan Fashion Week these past few days, we couldn't help wondering what notes he'd jot down in his fashion week diary. So, we thought we'd make it up ourselves. Inspired by the (very!) real three-piece NYFW installment he wrote last season, here's a fabricated version of what went down overseas with Front Row Joe (as we're affectionately calling him) at MFW.
DAY 1: JOHN VARVATOS
Photo: Getty Images
Hey. It's me, Joe. (IDK if I'm supposed to introduce myself to a diary, but I'm a gentleman, and it seems rude not to.) I flew into Italy last night and headed to the John Varvatos show first thing in the morning. Instead of my normal AM juice run (kale FTW, am I right?), I did a shot of espresso because I'm in Europe, and I'm #living. Even though it's not seasonally appropriate, I decided to play it safe in an all-black outfit because that's what NYFW taught me, and I do everything they say. In this photo, I'm trying to force a smile while thinking about all the #worldcup games I'm missing because of this. (U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!)
Joe Francis, Jaden Smith and Kourtney Kardashian at Kimye's Wedding Reception
Photo: Joe Francis Instagram
By now, the Kimye wedding guests have dispersed to their own homes, continuing vacation villas, or somewhere in the South of France. Kim and Kanye are officially husband and wife, the wedding was allegedly magnifique, the speeches moving, and the emotion overwhelming. The bride, groom, and baby Nori wore custom Givenchy. And Jaden Smith? He wore a white Batman outfit. Maybe he only wore it at the reception, but we like to think of him sitting politely in his seat during the wedding ceremony... as Batman. This calls for a new installment of Fashion Fanfic!
Jaden Smith smiles warmly as several guests stand, allowing him to move to his seat. "I'm so sorry," he says as he brushes against Chrissy Teigen. He nods towards John Legend: "So nice to see you." He doesn't really mean it though. Indeed, Jaden was raised to interact with the strictest of manners, but truthfully he couldn't care less if people thought he was polite. He had bigger things to think about.
Hey readers, here's another round of Fashion Fanfic. In this installment of fantasy celebrity conversations, we find Jerry Seinfeld, along with the rest of the Seinfeld crew (Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus), at the iconic Tom's Restaurant discussing exactly what is the deal with "normcore" and how a fashion movement about nothing is kind of something. Here's how we think it went down.
Jerry sat down at his usual booth at Monk's Cafe, no, that wasn't right, at Tom's Restaurant, located on the corner of West 112th Street and Broadway in Morningside Heights. He sometimes had to mentally correct himself and distinguish between reality and a passing facsimile of reality, even if it was loosely based on his own reality. Sometimes, it got so confusing. "What was the deal with—" began his inner monologue before he heard the door open, and spotted Jason Alexander's bald head in the doorway.
They hadn't seen each other since filming a promo and an episode for "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee," which some had speculated would be an official Seinfeld reunion. Sadly, that was not to be. However, it was nice to get the gang together when in town. Julia Louis-Dreyfus was rumored to possibly show up to join them, now that she had finished filming season three of Veep. No one had seen Michael Richards for years.
Karl Lagerfeld loves emojis.
Photo: Getty Images/emotiKARL/Photoshop: MTV/Maeve Keirans
In case you missed the marriage of everyone's favorite two things (emojis and Karl Lagerfeld), Karl designed a set of emojis to coincide with the launch of his fragrance line. The app, which you can download now, is called emotiKARL and contains Karl-approved emojis, like various hands with fingerless leather gloves, the many emotions of Choupette, perfume bottles, and more. Since I have read, cherished, and savored a vast number of Karl interviews in my life, I am fairly confident I have an idea of how his emoji proposal meeting went down. Here is my fictional account of the meeting in our latest installation of Fashion Fanfic.
NB: In honor of Karl, I originally wrote this story in French. I have since translated it to English, though, so you don't have to.
One Direction love exchanging gifts.
Photos: Getty Images, Photoshop: Maeve Keirans
Chances are good you're doing one of the following three things right now: 1.) getting your hands dirty in the kitchen helping prepare Christmas dinner, 2.) running around the mall picking up last-minute presents for those cousins you forgot were coming over, 3.) holing up in your room, eyeballs deep in wrapping paper and Scotch tape for the foreseeable future. Yea, us too. But we prepared a little light reading on the off-chance you need a momentary escape from your uncle's fishing stories or something to read on your phone as you tell your relatives you're catching up on "work emails." That's right, ladies and gents. It's a new installment of Fashion Fanfic (Christmas edition!) starring One Direction.
‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the tour bus, four members of One Direction struggled to wrap their Secret Santa gifts. Liam was the only member tucked behind the velvet curtain in his bunk. He had picked up his final Secret Santa gift for Louis weeks earlier, so he went to sleep as the other boys scattered throughout the bus, trying to tape their last gifts closed.
One by one, the boys finished wrapping and set off to bed. They had a big day ahead of them: a sold-out show in New York City and the third and final day of their annual Secret Santa gift exchange. Secret Santa was something the boys had done since The X Factor. That first year, in 2010, they decided to do it to cheer each other up after getting the boot from the show. Even though their lives had changed dramatically since then, this was one tradition they still maintained.
Celebrities being friends with other celebrities is nothing new. Look at Rihanna and Katy Perry. Or Cara Delevingne and Rita Ora. Or Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. Or Beyonce and Gwyneth Paltrow. BFF matches made in star-studded heaven. Welp, it may be time to officially add another set of famous friends to that list: Kanye West and Anna Wintour. It seems their relationship is more than that one dinner date Ye keeps rapping about or that infamous baby name consult: Anna actually hauled her cookies (and Grace Coddington) to Brooklyn for the first New York stop of the Yeezus tour. We know very little about the fashion event outside of some blurry Instagram photos, which makes it PERFECT material for—you guessed it—the latest installment of Fashion Fanfic.
"Anna, couldn't we have waited until Saturday when he comes to Madison Square Garden? It's so much closer to work and home than... Brooklyn," Grace said while idly staring out the window of their town car at the traffic surrounding the Barclays Center.
"Absolutely not," Anna replied tersely while pushing up her slinking over-sized sunglasses (even though it was almost 7 p.m. and, y'know, dark out). "This is his first solo tour show in New York in five years. This is a historical event, and we must be in attendance."
Photo: Getty Images
Lady Gaga and Donatella Versace go way back. Like, all the way back to 2011, when Gaga borrowed a vintage Versace dress for her "Edge of Glory" music video. Flash forward two years later, and they're basically besties (and sometimes twinsies, depending on Gaga's wig du jour): they do lots of air kissing, they send each other extravagant flower arrangements and now, after Gaga penned an ode to Versace with her song "Donatella," rumor has it that Mother Monster is slated to be the face of the brand's spring 2014 ad campaign. Suddenly, there's a whole new meaning to the phrase "friends with benefits."
Obviously, the set of this potential shoot provides the perfect place for us to drop in for another installment of Fashion Fanfic. Because LBR: aren't you DYING to know what the two of them talk about?
“And zen I told her, ‘Jes! Of caars, of caars! It looks fabulous, it is amazing,’” Donatella explained to Gaga as the pair entered a cavernous London studio, arms linked. She exhaled a long drag of her cigarette and brushed a bleached blonde strand away from her face to survey the set. “Jes, this is fabulous.”
Gaga set down her meatball-inspired handbag (made to scale with real marinara) and beelined for the nearest garment rack (there were seven). “You know,” she started, “I just really want people to feel included in this ad, Donatella. I want this to be an all-inclusive ad. I want people to look at this ad and know that they’re not just looking at fashion or art—I want them to know that they’re looking at … a movement.”
Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel shrug off the jean suit comparisons at the "Runner Runner" premiere.
Photo: Getty Images
Gather round, Fashion Fanfic readers. It's time for another installment of made-up celebrity conversations. Last night, Justin Timberlake and his lovely wife, Jessica Biel, showed up to the premiere of Justin’s new movie, Runner Runner, wearing basically the same thing. The handsome couple both hit the red carpet in verrry similar tuxedo suits. Here, we imagine what getting ready in the Timberlake-Biel household might have been like that night.
Justin anxiously tapped his pointed patent dress shoe on the bespoke, marble-glazed floor and let out a hefty sight. "JESS! Girl, come ON. We only got four minutes to save the wor— before we have to leave for my premieeeereyyeah!" he yelled with a slight staccato. For a moment, he thought about texting his co-star, Ben Affleck, to tell him they were running late, but he quickly remembered that Jennifer never lets him take his cellphone to events in an effort to help him "be more present."
"COMING!" Jessica hollered back. "Have you seen my black, gold-trimmed mini-briefcase purse? I can't find it anywhere!"
Anna Wintour shoots Kanye a glance that says, "I'm holding you to what we discussed last night."
Photo: Getty Images/Photoshop: Gaby Wilson
Welcome to Fashion Fanfic, a new franchise we're starting here at MTV Style wherein we take great lengths to fabricate stories about the fashion world's most interesting characters. Don't misunderstand, we're not in the market to stir the pot or circulate gossip. We're doing this because we're SUCH fans of fashion that we have crazy fantasy plot lines somersaulting through our brains at all hours of the day and FINALLY decided we needed a place to put them. Enter North West. We'd toyed with the idea of launching this thing for a while now, but as soon as we heard that the name of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian's first-born daughter, North West, was reportedly approved by Anna Wintour when the Vogue EIC had the couple over for dinner on the eve of the 2013 Met Gala, we knew we had our kick-off story.
Anna checked her reflection in the back of a large serving spoon. Come early May, spring is only just starting to roll around in New York City, which means heat, humidity, and time to swap in a stronger daily anti-frizz serum. The seasonal beauty switch-up is annoying but a necessary evil and one the Vogue editor-in-chief certainly wasn't going to take chances on tomorrow, the day of the Costume Institute Gala. Regardless, Anna wanted to make sure everything was in its exact right place before her guest of honor's arrival. She triple-checked the table settings her assistant had come over to do hours ago, displayed her collection of soul vinyls prominently, and was in the middle of zhuzhing her couch throw pillows when the doorbell rang. "There he is now! Just like clockwork. Fifteen minutes late," she thought to herself, heading toward the door.